The announcement of the Michael Phelps endorsement deal with Kellogg's Frosted Flakes has raised several eyebrows across the country concerning the promotion of a sugar-laden breakfast cereal and it's connection with the most decorated Olympic athlete ever. This deal has also prompted many health experts to voice their concerns about the cereal being viewed as a healthy way to start the morning. "I would not consider Frosted Flakes the food of an Olympian," said Mount Sinai Medical Center nutritionist Rebecca Solomon.

In response to this previously unfathomable travesty, and irremediable blight on the face of our nation's sacred breakfast cereal industry, I have uncovered several other questionable, and potentially dangerous, political cereal endorsements that are currently in the works. It is my hope that by unmasking these diabolical parts of a complete breakfast, these endorsement deals will be prevented from ever going through, and I shall be heralded as a national hero, one who will, perhaps someday, get his own breakfast cereal endorsement.