Bush is pushing through a last minute order that will not allow any institution receiving federal money to punish a medical provider who refuses to offer services against their religion. Too bad my nurse is a Voodoo priestess from New Orleans. I ask for a condom, she refuses, and gives me slaughtered chicken innards. She said, "Hey Mon, take the Cock...it good for your cock."

So it didn't work and now my wife is pregnant. We go to an obstetrician who is a Satanist. We ask him to show us an ultrasound and he refuses because it's against his religion to help bring new life into the world...so he says that he has no moral choice but to tie her down and forcibly abort our baby. Oh Bush, I'm so mad at you for killing my child and taking away the cash I would have got with a dependent under your tax plan!

So I go to a Mormon marriage counselor and tell him that she is threatening to kill me for losing our child. He refuses to help me because I only have one wife. He says that he will solve this little "homicidal urge" after I come back with a few more wives.

She stabs me later that night and I go to the emergency room where a nurse refuses to give me a blood transfusion because she is a Jehovah's Witness. She tells me that instead of blood, there's a bicycle and suit waiting for me outside if I survive. I decide to start wishing her "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Birthday" until she passes out from the sheer blasphemy. Then luckily another nurse gives me the blood.

So now I go to my therapist where I discuss this sad affair and he believes I might be gay. I finally realize that I am and go into a deep depression. I ask for some anti-depressants to help me become a happy homosexual once again. He refuses on principle to make me a gay gay. He says a blue-ide is the only cure for gayness. So I took the pills, got sick, and then he explained that "blue" is just another word for "cyan"-ide.

Now I'm dead and I want my coroner to discover that I had been poisoned but he won't cut into my body because I have a tattoo, which defames the beautiful body designed by an Intelligent Designer. He writes "cause of death...Evolution"...and blames Darwin.

It comes time to bury my body and the gravedigger just stuffs my naked body into someone else's casket to save some cash. They were Scientologists and not making money off other people's misery was against their religion.

No one in this tale is prosecuted. So thank you Bush for doing to medicine what you did to our freedoms and the economy. I'm in Hell now but God Damn it's a hell of a lot better than living in Bush's America.