As an Aussie, I get to sit in the middle of the Republicans and the Democrats just as I sit between the Angels and the Dodgers. But knowing what I do about our fair-weather friends over in the Middle East, I can't help but think--for the future of our mere existence--it would be best if the Republican party won.

It is my understanding that the Middle Eastern leaders don't really like Americans, they have just about as little respect for Americans as they do women or black people...hang on??

Now don't get me wrong--I am a girl who loves her alpha females and who had a huge crush on Michael Jordan when she was a teenager. All I am saying is the U.S. isn't exactly a favorite with the Middle East as it is, and that's with a boring white guy calling the shots. When those Middle Easterners with suicidal tendencies tune into the election coverage to see an African encouraging the youth to join the peace corps and a--for shame--woman flaunting her ankles, you can bet they are heating up under their dishcloths!