Earlier this week I bumped into woman carrying a poodle. Well, at least I thought I did.

I said, "Oh my God, I am so sorry!" thinking I had just crushed her dainty pup. But no. Oh no, I hadn't hit her doggy I had just hit her handbag shaped like a doggy. An actual grown-up was walking in public with her grown-up wallet and her grown-up apartment keys stuffed into a her stuffed animal tote.

I was hopeful that this horrid handbag sighting was an isolated incident, but then yesterday I walked past a store on 14th Street in New York City only to see an entire window display overflowing with stuffed animal doggy handbags.

As if the sight of fashionistas trotting about supermarkets and restaurants carrying real-life tea-cup pooches wasn't annoying enough, now wannabes are sporting make-believe mutts? I mean, don't get me wrong, I think a stuffed animal dog purse is adorable...for a seven-year-old. But when Sassy McSassinberg shuffles her 32-year-old Juicy-Couture-jumpsuit-covered spray-tanned bod past me lugging a fake Fido, it's just creepy.

I wonder if the puppy purse has a compartment for her Sidekick and her cocaine?

While we may not know how this fashion disaster started, we can do something to stop it. So I ask you all, please do not buy a puppy purse. Even if US Weekly sports a shot of Nicole Richie holding a hound handbag, do not buy a puppy purse. Even if it's on sale for 50% off of $0, do not buy a puppy purse. Even if there is a horrible epidemic where all the cool purses in the world are destroyed and the only bags left are puppy purses, do not buy a puppy purse. I would follow you around holding your check book and tampons, rather than see another puppy purse on the streets.

If only the puppy purse actually peed and pooped all over it's owners shoes, then maybe, just maybe puppy purses would be okay.