The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: We Give Thanks as Atheists, Celebrating Random Chance Day Jeffrey Jena | Bio

If you are truly an atheist and believe in life as a result of random chance then what do you do this Thursday? It seems that if you are giving thanks then there must be someone or something you are giving thanks to, n'est-ce pas? I have always felt sorry for non-believers on Thanksgiving and when they need to utter a good expletive. I feel this is why F*** Y** has become so popular in our time, so many folks are missing out on more basic curses because they don't fit their world view. "Go to hell!" How can you if hell doesn't exist? "God D***"? Not for you Mr. Science. What does an atheist say when he drops a cinder block on his toe? Curse you randomness!

So The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy would like to take a moment give thanks for all we have been given in the past year.

A big thanks to George Bush for finally finding the gumption to grant clemency to Campean and Ramos. They deserve a full pardon but don't get me started on the Greatest Democrat President ever.

Thanks for Sarah Palin. Love her or hate her The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy likes anything that sends the far left into apoplectic fits.

Thanks for Joe Wurzelbacher AKA Joe the Plumber. Because of him the true nature of the leftists here in Ohio has been shown. Right to privacy? For abortions, of course, but not for simple guys who dare to question He Who Is. There are so many upsides to this story, chaos in Columbus for Governor Strickland who stood by the toady who used state time and computers to violate Joe's civil rights. A huge settlement coming is Joe's way thanks to a lawsuit about to be filed. At least one middle class person will be helped by a Democrat this year.

Thanks for John McCain. Maybe his defeat will finally teach conservatives that trying to please the media and the left is an exercise in futility. They will turn on you as soon as it suits their purpose. That should be a warning for you too, Barack.

Thanks to all of the Black and Latino voters in California who voted for Proposition 8. Gay activist are stirring things up against the Mormon Church but they have withstood worse. Why aren't gay leftists out protesting in Black and Latino neighborhoods or at Black and Latino Churches? Because they know they would get their asses handed to them on a platter. Leftists think the Black and Latino votes were "fooled" into voting for Prop 8, another sign of their racist and condescending attitudes. The fact is that a gay man has exactly the same rights as I have when it comes to marriage; he's free to marry any woman he wants. You don't want to marry a woman? Hey, I don't want to drive a Ford but that doesn't give me the right to a Ferrari.

Thanks to the Clintons for not going quietly. Who knows what kind of fun they will dredge up for us over the next four years?

Finally and maybe most of all, thanks for every man and woman who is standing a post tonight. I will sleep easier knowing you are out there. I will try to think of you with every bite of pumpkin pie and turkey I take.