Really, bro. Jesus. Always fucking joking.

What an asshole.

So what do you guys think of this McCain fellow?

He stands for everything I was against: getting involved in other countries' affairs, relying on other countries for economic support-

Slavery. Oh!

Snap!

Ah-hah! Lincoln's jest has just burned you, my friend!

I said shut the fuck up, Harrison!

I'm worried about McCain's image as a war hero. He claims his war experience prepares him for leading a country in conflict, but my war experience didn't mean shit when it came to the Bay of Pigs.

Nor avoiding dying in office.

Hey!

Not cool, Broseph.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that I'm the only one here to survive an assassination attempt. Although, I've got to say: I'm tired of McCain comparing himself to me. I hate oil. I'm pro-conservation. I think women are people. What the fuck?

Might be the whole imperialist Rough Rider mentality.

Nah, son, nah; the only true Rough Riders are me and DMX. The only thing McCain rough rides is the American public's belief in his bullshit.

"Rough rides," like sex!

Yes, that was the joke.

I do wonder, my friends: Dost thou believe the aged McCain may free me from the notoriety of dying the earliest in my term?

Well, he certainly won't free you from the notoriety of being a douchebag.

Up top, G.W.!