Good news, folks! The Bush Administration wants to define contraception--stuff like condoms, the pill... I don't know, the rhythm method, I suppose--as "abortion." That's right--contraceptives kill the baby before they're even alive, like cute little thought crimes.

"Wait a minute," you just said. "Babies therefore would have a right to life before they even chemically exist?"

Hell yeah!

It's good times to be the potential for a baby. Real good times.

But it will take some getting used to. So I'm once again pitching a few promotional posters to the Government's Marketing Department, Washington D.C., United States of America.