Behind every great man there's a great woman. And behind every cheating public figure, there is a spouse who gets wheeled out to show that she's, um, standing behind her man in his time of moral frailty. This united front is intended to comfort us, the masses, that the candidate is still viable for whatever office he's holding because--if his wife can stick with him after he wronged her with another woman (or, in some cases, another man)--then the public damned sure can.

And while these formulaic mea culpas may seem indistinguishable from each other as all cameras are focused on the repentant politician, one's eye is invariably drawn to the spouse to see how she's taking it. "What," we wonder, "could she be thinking?" Is she really going to stay with this joker? Is she biting her tongue, valium-calm or both? We may never know for sure, but that shouldn't stop us from guessing what exactly was running through their minds at these most awkward of times. Let's go to the photos:

I. Silda Spitzer: "I could've had a V8."

What she was thinking: Twenty years of marriage to Eliot Spitzer came with costs aplenty--mainly consisting of having to be around Eliot Spitzer all the time--but it was finally starting to pay off. Until this. More so than anything else, Silda looks wistful, perhaps imagining what her life could have been. Partner at a white shoe law firm? District attorney? Or, hell, Governor of New York? This Harvard Law grad and self-made woman had so many promising possibilities. And while Eliot confessed in the most oblique, lawyerly fashion possible Silda had the detached look of a gambler who, chips being swept away by an uncaring blackjack dealer, wonders what would've happened if the cards had fallen another way.

Likelihood of prescription medication: Low

II. Suzanne Craig: "I think I'm gonna be sick."

What she was thinking: At this particular press conference, Suzanne's face is not hard to read. Idaho isn't known for its tolerance, and Suzanne, no matter how hard she tries, can't seem to shake the image of a glistening, de-pantsed Larry he-spooning another man, and it clearly doesn't agree with her. To be fair, Larry's unexpected homosexuality adds a round off gainer with a full twist to the difficulty of the forgiveness-dismount for a down-home lady. Looking at the picture you can almost see her shaking her head, trying to make the movies in her head stop.

Likelihood of prescription medication: Medium

III. Dina Matos McGreevey: "Free at last, free at last!"

What she was thinking: In stark contrast to Suzanne Craig, Portuguese-born Dina appears pleased, bordering on happy. She always knew that American men aren't as macho as their Latin counterparts, but Jim's endless singing of Judy Garland songs and addiction to Project Runway were downright perplexing. When the pieces finally fell into place, Dina could not only make sense of the past, but she could see a brighter, less ambiguous future. At the press conference, Dina already seems to be imagining a mango-rita drenched escape to Hedonism II.

Likelihood of prescription medication: Zero
Likelihood of Cuervo body shots/divorcee threesome: High

IV. Wendy Vitter: "Someone...please...kill...me."

What she was thinking: Wendy is obviously teetering on the brink of sanity and looks like she either a) wants to scream while clawing out her own eyes and/or b) throttle the breath out of the David. Subtle clue: The baffling Jersey-tribute leopard print at her husband's confession press conference. Not-so-subtle clue: The look on her pallid, stretched face, which mirrors that of the unlucky colonist in Aliens who beseeches the space marines to "Please...kill me" right before her chest bursts open and the whole thing goes pear-shaped.

Likelihood of prescription medication: 100%
Need to increase dose: Immediate

V. Hillary Clinton: "Think, damnit, think! Must make life-lemonade out of Bill's sex-lemons."

What she was thinking: "I am wracking up some SWEET experience to lord over any future political rivals."

Likelihood of prescription medication: Low. Hillary is obviously high on life.