Rahm Is Mine Mike Albo | Bio

OK, I can't hold it in any longer. This has happened to me before with Viggo Mortensen, Anderson Cooper and Idris Elba from The Wire and I refuse to sit there and not speak my mind. For those of you who are just now noticing Rahm Emanuel and how hot he is: BACK OFF. I have had a crush on that steamy, hotheaded, baggy-eyed silver fox former danseur for years now, at least since the 2004 Democratic Convention, and I will not let you get all crushed out on him and vote him to be People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive or whatever and ruin my chances! I SAW HIM FIRST.

I know Barry is totally popular and president and everything now and Rahm is his cool sidekick, like Kenickie in Grease, but that doesn't mean I have any less of a chance, because I totally have real, strong feelings for him, and if...no, WHEN...Rahmmy and I finally meet, at, like, the gala presidential dinner saluting the service of Asian, disabled and/or gay comedians, he and I will lock eyes, have an intense conversation about compulsory service for young Americans and he will realize his feelings for me and we will immediately go to Tulum for a private naked yoga retreat and feed each other mangoes that will drip all over our sweating torsos. So if you know what's good for you, you will stay away and let history happen. Because it will. Because Rahm is MINE.

Thanks for understanding!