This was an experiment. We wanted to see if there were substantive similarities (both thematic and character-based) between Step Up 2 the Streets and Rambo. So we liveblogged them side by side, or sideblogged, if you will. We discovered that, yes, in fact, the movies do share themes: Asians are bad, people are sexier when wet, one should not cross the color boundary for sex, and dark people are violent. We hope you enjoy reading about them as much as we enjoyed watching them:

Step Up 2 the Streets		Rambo
6:46p Voice over of stock footage montage explains that this is not just a dance movie, it has serious social themes having to do with dead mothers and "The Streets." "Mom told me to be myself, cause life's too short to be anything else." Alex agrees. Ricky misses his mom.		9:17p Voice over of stock footage montage explains Burma is awful.
6:47p Subway dance by "401 Crew" shows how youth of Baltimore expresses itself. We learn from fake local news report that dancing is Baltimore's biggest problem. Not drugs or crime like non-Step Up 2 the Streets newscasters say.		9:19p Forcing civilians to run across mine field while shooting at them shows how the Burmese express themselves. (Burmese equivalent of wheelbarrow racing?) Obviously genocide is Burma's biggest problem. The Rambo theme begins. Ricky smiles bigger than Alex has ever seen.
6:49p Kima from the Wire (who is never allowed to film oustide Baltimore) is tired of Andy (our lead). Andy's bad behavior (i.e. dancing) is the reason she's being sent to live in Texas with her aunt.		9:25p Rambo tells Christian guy (who wants him to take a boat-full of missionaries to Burma) "fuck the world." Rambo seems tired, jaded, dejected--only killing can restore him. Rambo and Andy are both white people living in non-white people's worlds, which is totally hard.
6:52p Guy from the original Step Up makes a cameo. He wants Andy to clean up her act and avoid Texas by going to MSA (Maryland School for the Arts), he "battles her for it," on the dance floor and wins. That's how Alex ended up at Wesleyan. She lost a dance battle.		9:28p Rambo blacksmiths. Hard. White lady, wearing sexy, water-drenched clothes comes to Rambo to show the strength of her resolve. You can kind of see her nipples. Rambo agrees to take them to Burma.
7p We meet the bad guy: the (possibly gay) brother of our male lead. He's a professional ballet dancer who left a lucrative career to run the dance program at a Baltimore school (obviously). When Andy tries out he says, "She's just a street dancer," but she gets in anyway.		9:35p We meet some bad guys: Burmese pirates. They want all the Christians' money and to "rape [the white chick] 50 times," as Rambo so delicately puts it. He kills them all.
7:02p Andy's crew (the 401) are pissed she hasn't been around much (especially her African-American boyfriend). They really have to "step it up" for their next performance.		9:39p Christian leader is pissed Rambo killed the pirates. Says he's going to report Rambo. (We don't know to whom.) Hot white lady: "I don't know what to say." Rambo: "Then you shouldn't say anything, should ya?" Awesome.
7:05p Andy acquires nerd white-boy side kick. He informs her that the Maryland School for the Arts tofu dogs are incredible and also that lockers need to be fist-tapped to open. Ricky and Alex argue over whether Andy looks more like Natalie Portman or the chick from She's All That. Either way, Ricky annoys Alex by stating once again, that Andy is "so hot." "She's so hot, Alex."		9:42p Rambo's flashbacks: he was drafted in Nam, is a killing machine, hugs a man (totally gay). Ricky is making supplemental sound effects, not okay with Alex. Rambo: "When pushed, killing is as easy as breathing." Ricky cheers.
7:16p Andy fails at first dance class. Montage of her getting better. Ricky keeps saying, "Andy is like Charlie Sheen in Major League. A wild thing." Alex has no idea what he's talking about. Andy's boyfriend ("Tuck") is so pissed she missed his house party (where he sat and played video games) that he kicks her out of the 401.		9:45p The genociders attack the village where the Christian missionaries are staying. Everyone's heads explode even if they're not bombed. We were up to twelve dead, but can no longer count. The Christians are captured.
7:23p Andy "steps up 2 academia" by forming a crew to compete in "The Streets" with hot male lead and school outcasts who can dance. They all have sad, derogatory names: Hair, Monster, Cable, Smiles, Moose, etc. Chinese girl doesn't know how ridiculous she is: she has an accent but won't admit it. Fucking liar.		9:58p Rambo is asked to take a hodge-podge group of mercenaries up the river to save the Christians. He agrees. One of them calls Rambo "pussnuts." Rambo gives him the "thousand yard stare."
7:28p First show down: white academic crew gets "schooled" at club competition. (Alex remembers that the chick from She's All That is named Rachael Leigh Cook.) Ricky and Alex celebrate Alex's memory with beer.		10:04p They go to search for white people. Rambo was not allowed to come (he's "just the boat man.") The genociders show up to play "run through the mine field" with some friends. None of the mercenaries are going to save them, but Rambo steps up with bow and arrow and explodes the bad guys' heads. Rambo & co steal exploded guys' truck and uniforms.
7:32p Asian member of crew can't pronounce her 'r's. Ha. Asians are stupid.		10:07p Raid to find white missionaries begins. Burmese men are watching captured women dance really sadly on stage. Only sad because their dancing doesn't even compare to Step Up 2's dancing. Most Christian missionaries are safe. One is dead and is being eaten by wild boar.
7:33p Female member of 401 quits to be in Andy's crew. She says, "What happened last night went too far." Ricky's confused, he thought they were just dancing. She invites the whole group over to her house for a BBQ. Even male leads' non-racially descript girlfriend comes. Everybody salsa dances.		10:11p Beating up women is fun. Alex is pretty sure she could take Ricky in a fight. Ricky says "not if he were Burmese."
7:41p Male lead and female lead dance like sex gods, almost kiss in a tree. This movie = the anti-"Jungle Fever": Both leads started with minority significant others and end up with white ones. Chinese girl says something rude.		10:12p Rapin' time. Alex had been scared the main bad guy was going to rape the nice Christian lady. Turns out he likes little boys. Phew, Burma is a pedophile. It totally deserves the wrath of Rambo.
7:45p Three black and Hispanic men beat up our white male lead. Odd dissolve/transition to symbolic white screen. 401 Crew vandalizes the school. Black people are so violent.		10:19p Another man tries to rape the Christian lady. Rambo RIPS HIS NECK OUT. Suck it, Christians, your gentle ways cannot apply in the world of dark savages/brown people.
7:50p Andy gets kicked out of school. For reasons both Ricky and Alex fail to understand. Even if we did, we're pretty sure it isn't legal.		10:20p Little boy leaves bad guy's cabin. Burma fucked the shit out of him. Literally.
7:55p On the night of the big fundraiser (did we forget to mention there's a climactic fundraiser?), the white academia dance crew ditches their school obligations and shows up at Andy's house to get her for "The Streets" competition.		10:21p Genociders discover that the white people are missing after Rambo & co save them (along with a couple Asian ladies for good measure). Genociders follow them into the jungle. ENTER: hundreds of Burmese extras for Rambo to kill.
8p Family problems resolved. Andy tells her guardian "she finally found where she belonged"...with white people.		10:29p Killing becomes awesome. Burmese genociders only slightly tougher than black men in Step Up 2.
8:05p Andy: "We call this a battle but what are we fighting for?" Alex wants to start a 23/6 crew.		10:31p Christian leader kills someone. Looks upset. Alex yells, "Suck it up, pussy." Oh no, violence has made her overly aggressive. Ricky is on the floor looking for his cell phone that Alex dropped with overly aggressive hand motion.
8:07p The metaphorical "Streets" turn into actual streets when white people take their dance outside...in the rain. Now all hot women are soaking wet.		10:33p Rambo's gun gyration is overtly sexual.
8:11p 401 is faced, schooled, sonned, pwned.		10:34p Rambo guts boy-rapist.
8:12p Andy gets back into school. Lives happily ever after with white boyfriend. The 401 goes back to the "streets" where they'll probably die sellin' dance or spend the rest of their lives in jail, dancing.		10:37p Rambo returns to America for first time. Ricky is upset with Alex because she asks if Rambo and the blonde Christian lady are together. Ricky says Rambo has no time for women, only killing. Alex can't believe that was the whole movie. There were like 10 lines of dialogue.