U.S. Intelligence sources have confirmed several of Al Qaida leader Ayman al-Zawahiri's claims that Barack Obama is responsible for the current fighting in Gaza due to his inaction. Al-Zawahiri's first complaint centered around the President-elects inability to veto congressional legislation supporting Israel. This, al-Zawahiri argued, was yet another sign that Obama is now an apostate muslim. Most shockingly, before Obama's conversion to Christianity during the primaries, he was the community organizer for a Hamas sleeper cell. Once Obama said "Change" for the 500th time, the sleeper cell would activated a la "Manchurian Candidate." Al-Zawahiri emphasized that this was the new version of "Manchurian Candidate," since the old one was about communists. Details are unclear, but analysts have concluded that, at one point, al-Zawhiri rented the "Manchurian Candidate" and never returned it. This had been added to his criminal charges.

Strangely, while most intelligence agencies deny that these claims have any validity, the CIA has been particularly emphatic about Obama's terrorist ties as well as the terrorist ties of anyone appointed by him. The FBI, for instance, reported that it had no knowledge of evidence supporting claims by al-Zawahiri. The CIA countered that in the new version of the Manchurian candidate, the terrorists are foreign and therefore out of the FBI's jurisdiction.