A recent measurement in Western Pennsylvania confirms America's worst fears about racism: there isn't enough of it. Even after John Murtha tried reassuring voters that Western Pennsylvania was a steadfastly anti-black society, crowds have started to worry that pure American prejudice won't be able to determine this election. The force behind this sudden placation of "Southern Comfort" has been blamed on the infamous "McCain Effect," the tendency for voters to go against every innate principle they hold in order to keep that senile son of a bitch out of office.

Canvassers first noticed signs of the McCain Effect in the heartland of Pennyslvania as detailed in fivethirtyeight.com:

"A canvasser goes to a woman's door in Washington, Pennsylvania...asks who she's planning to vote for. She isn't sure, has to ask her husband who she's voting for. Husband is off in another room watching some game. Canvasser hears him yell back, 'We're votin' for the n***ger.'

"Woman turns back to the canvasser, and says brightly and matter of factly, 'We're voting for the ***ger.'"

Southerners who spent most of their lifetime under Jim Crow are now switching loyalties and voting for the "n***ger who isn't McCain." The impact of the McCain effect on Pennsylvanians is hard to gauge since many respondents giving similar answers to the above are under the impression that McCain is running against Bill Clinton.

McCain supporters claim that those exhibiting the McCain Effect are trying to appear rational to canvassers, thus skewing the true vote. In truth, many of the Pennsylvanians who plan to vote for "the n***ger" will secretly vote for the McCain/Palin ticket. McCain supporters have also filed a lawsuit claiming that the following "write-in votes" are not meant for Obama:

Tax-cut Tar Baby
Biden and "the boy"
Terrorist
Hawaiian halfie
Economic Urkel
That one
Samuel L. Jackson