You Can't Make This Stuff Up Will Durst | Bio

• 60% of Europeans believe American foreign policy will get better after George Bush leaves office. About 39% less than what Americans believe.

• Gays will be allowed to marry in California this week, and some of the biggest celebrations will be going on in the offices of California divorce lawyers.

• Midwestern towns continue to be ravaged by floodwaters. But FEMA is on the job. They're probably sending ice.

• President Bush is traveling in Europe talking up the dollar. What's his sales pitch? "The best part is you can get a whole bunch of them for almost nothing."

• Another 8 months of Bush's economic policy and Mexico will have to build a wall to keep American workers from crossing their border.

• The longer the campaign goes on, the more John McCain looks like Yoda with a tie.

• In Minnesota, the Democratic Party endorsed comedian Al Franken as its U.S. Senate candidate. A comic leaving show business to enter Congress. Might just raise the level of discourse in both worlds.

• Senator McCain accused Senator Obama of a foolish willingness to sit down and negotiate with enemies. Does that mean he's scheduled lunch with Senator Clinton?

• The best thing about John McCain's campaign is that when history starts repeating itself, he will be the first to know.

• In his book, former Bush Press Secretary, Scott McClellan, says he was left out in the dark. You know what, Scott--us too. But you were standing next to the light switch.

• In their never- ending quest to add revenue, airlines have started charging for every checked bag. Next: coin operated bathrooms. Then, seat belts priced by the inch.

• Gas prices have caused SUV sales to drop like an anvil in a vertical zinc mine. Got to feel bad for Hummer drivers. Now they have to find another way to make up for the miniscule nature of their manhood.