Christmas is sort of about tradition, but it's mostly about television. Watching those awesome old holiday flicks that look like they pre-date animation, screaming at Flick not to lick the frozen pole, and pretending to like the Nutcracker. And while some television improves (that animated burning yule log...

Welcome to another edition of 'We Report You Decide'--a socially important, scientifically accurate poll that determines which FOX News chyron is the most viscerally offensive for the day in question. In this instance we are looking at puns, people, so get your eyeballs in reading position and larynx ready...

Good Morning America--always a bastion of open-minded racial discourse--has begun to refer to black women in the south as the 'hair salon vote.' They totally saw Beauty Shop with that nice, light skinned heavy woman who calls herself Queen something a couple years back and realized that...

I hate when things get in the way of my breasts. Name tags, bibs, shirts--all verboten. And when a network tries to cover a woman's bosom with chyrons, it takes an heroic company like FOX News Channel to say "No. No, we won't succumb to this anti...

Maybe it's that FOX News thinks of all Europeans as sex-crazed fops, or maybe John Gibson and Heather Nauert have been watching too much Jerry Springer, but either way this chyron makes me want to call someone "son," and watch an old Brenda-Kelly-Dylan episode of 90210...

I know what you're thinking: "Wolf Blitzer is so sexy." You may also be thinking "I am sick of every news story having the suffix -gate on it." I'm here to tell you, you're wrong. -gate is how we, as a society, let people know something bad...

Ahh, a conservative head of state from a western European nation (read bastion of communists with 35-hour work weeks). He's so dreamy...

It takes a very special mind to come up with an image that let's you know that NBC is liberal, their peacock is gay, their gay peacock is having an affair with Rosie O'Donnell and their gay Rosie-loving peacock is a bottom...

I think I know who won out...

...so says MeMe Roth--that crazy blond chick who took heat from Jordin Sparks fans for saying the idol star represented diabetes, heart disease, and high cholesterol. Roth, the head of National Action About Obesity was brought on to talk about why Al Gore shouldn't be president: He's...