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Henry Paulson Suggests Allocating $35 Billion of Rescue Funds to Henry Paulson
NPNR's David Overbearing reports on Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's testimony before the House Financial Services Committee. For more stuff like this, visit TheNationalProtrusion.com...
CEOs Say They May Have to Cut Back on Hookers and Blow
Washington, D.C. -- The CEOs of several investment banking, insurance and financial services giants appeared before the House Financial Services Committee Thursday to testify about the state of their companies' financial health. What the committee members heard were tales of desperation and hardship. Specifically, the CEOs testified that if things...
Cheney Asks if He Can Be Secretary of Evil
Washington, D.C. -- Vice President Dick Cheney asked Vice President-Elect Joe Biden of Delaware about the possibility of serving in the Obama administration as Secretary of Evil. The two men and their wives met at the White House Thursday. This morning, Biden told reporters about Cheney's request. "He...
Americans Hoping to Be Cynical Again Soon (Listen)
For more stuff like this, visit TheNationalProtrusion.com...
Bush Asks Obama if He Can Keep "Some of the Really Good Pens"
Washington, D.C. -- President Bush reportedly called President-Elect Barack Obama today to ask if he would mind if Mr. Bush took "some of the really good pens--the nice, heavy ones, with the White House seal." Mr. Bush told Senator Obama that he knows the tradition is for the...
Smart Man Elected Somehow
Ann Arbor, Michigan - Experts at the University of Michigan's Department of Political Science are furiously trying to figure out how the United States elected an intelligent man, Barack Obama, to be the 44th president of the country. Several theories have been put forward, but none of them has taken...
McCain Buys 3 Seconds of Air Time on Food Network
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - The campaign of Arizona Senator John McCain announced today that it had purchased three seconds of air time on the Food Network, during which time it will air an ad for the senator's campaign. Mr. McCain's campaign hopes to counter Barack Obama's thirty minute ad...
Palin Pushes McCain Out of Campaign Plane
Philadelphia International Airport - Republican Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin is trying to explain why she pushed Republican Presidential nominee John McCain off Mr. McCain's campaign plane early this morning. Governor Palin, who first said Mr. McCain "fell out of the plane somehow," now claims that she did, in fact...
Is Obama Really Visiting His Sick Grandmother?
For more of The Mack Truck, visit TheNationalProtrusion.com...
Bush Unlikely to Get White House Security Deposit Back
Washington - President Bush said he was "very disappointed" to learn that he will likely not be receiving any of the $3,000 security deposit he put down when he took over the White House in January of 2001. Mr. Bush said he had not expected to have the entire amount...
