WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush said he was "shocked" by the expectations of a United States president as outlined in the position's job description. Bush read the job description for the first time after finding it under his desk in the Oval Office. The document was apparently under the...

WASHINGTON - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said today that Democrats in the Senate will do their best from now on not to "make any noise or otherwise disturb hardworking Senate Republicans." The pledge comes after several Senate Republicans complained about Democrats voicing opinions and otherwise making noise on the Senate...

USS Nimitz - Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain flew an F-18 Hornet into Iranian airspace today and dropped several 2,000 lb. bombs on what he thought were important military targets. The bombs were actually dropped into a cluster of camels in an otherwise abandoned stretch of desert. One...

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain said today he "strongly opposes" a proposal made by John McCain regarding nuclear energy. McCain made a proposal Wednesday that the United States should invest in up to 45 new nuclear reactors by 2030. Today he said he opposes that proposal, though...

SAN FRANCISCO, Ca. - Across California, dozens of same-sex couples took vows and married today, then immediately prepared for the invasion of as many straight couples' homes as they could get to. "Our mission is upon us, my people, at long last," said the United Gay Army's leader, Nathan...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush said he woke up this morning after having "this wild, crazy dream" where he was president of the United States for the last seven and a half years. "It was so weird," Mr. Bush said during an interview with a German newspaper, to be published...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Presumptive Republican presidential candidate John McCain today enlisted the services of Thomson and Thomson Consulting, a firm that specializes in lobbying Congress about the negatives of lobbying. "We specialize in telling Congress the tough truth about lobbying and lobbyists," said James K. Laymon, a spokesman for the...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - A Senate panel this week released a report which says the Bush administration misled Americans in the run-up to the lying to Americans that took place shortly thereafter. "There is ample proof that members of the administration misled the American public prior to its future lying...

New York, NY - On a day when Senator Barack Obama secured the necessary number of delegates to win his party's nomination for president, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton said she would accept an offer to serve as his vice president, if she is "allowed to be president most of the...

ABERDEEN, South Dakota - Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama said yesterday that, though he doesn't know why, "inflammatory and controversial pastors just have a thing for me." Mr. Obama quit Trinity United Church of Christ after video surfaced of Rev. Michael Pfleger mocking Hillary Clinton during a guest sermon there...