Bill O'Reilly now has a "Policing the Net" segment on his Fox News show. Seriously. This is coming from a guy who has roughly the sexual impulse control of Tommy Lee on Spanish fly. But Sir Spanks-a-Lot has made himself judge and jury over what is appropriate for the World...

At Fox News, inauguration day looked like the first afternoon a Negro used the local country club tennis courts following a legal settlement.

While there were many forced smiles and obligatory discussions of this "historic" day, there was just as much complaining about the size of the event, the expense...

Gone are the days when we could look forward to a new book in which Christopher Hitchens skewers Mother Teresa or where we could read how great Tim Russert's dad was. No, our reading list for the new year is full of first-time authors who have a lot...

Bill O'Reilly's Worst Year Ever

2008 has not been a very good year for Bill O'Reilly. And while there's no definitive proof that there is a God, we offer up the following pieces of empirical evidence:

1. Paul Krugman wins the Nobel Prize
This had to drive Bill...

O'Reilly Teaches Us How to Save Millions. Annually!

Bill O'Reilly is a lot of things: commentator, author, telephone pervert (allegedly), and now he's adding financial adviser to the list. Yes, Bill is the Suze Orman of Fox News, except Suze can get women into bed without sexually harassing them.

In...

Saving Private Blitzen

Unlike most people in this country, Fox News' favorite holiday is not Christmas--it's War on Christmas.

Every year, they get out their War on Christmas decorations, dust off their favorite War on Christmas stories, and, at their War on Christmas office party, strive to get drunk...

Joe the Plumber to Sell Book to His Fans; Trojan to Market Defective Condom to Men Without Penises

Okay, so Joe the Plumber is writing a book. And while it's as expected as it is repellent (we wonder if Joe and Sarah Palin couldn't simply descend on John McCain...

And So Fox's Bush Years Revisionism Begins...Now!

You might say Fox News' Megyn Kelly is the perfect hybridization of everything the network most values in its employees.

She's suitably blond, beautiful, and bimboish, but her personality is about what you'd get if you gave Ted Nugent meth and rabies...

They're All Going to Laugh at You

Just how much does Bill O'Reilly suck? Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is opening a banana and having the peel tear off kind of awkwardly and incompletely, exposing a sort of starchy, under-ripe banana that tastes a...

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

As longtime observers of Bill O'Reilly, we choose to regard the man with the unjaundiced eye, impassive reason, and evenhanded solemnity of an ancient Athenian stoic.

With that in mind, here's what the Pope of Crazyville had to say last week: