Dear Sir or Madam:

My recent weekend trip to the fine city of Los Angeles was otherwise stellar. With the exception of the maniac who slipped an avocado into my garden omelet, no so-called "Hollywood type" worked my nerves beyond the occasional name-dropping of an actor about whom I care...

Pop quiz for all the single ladies out there! What would you say if I introduced you to this gorgeous, and I mean gorgeous 42-year old former lawyer-turned-grass roots politician -slash-collage artist-slash-poet who's friends with Sean Penn, plays bass guitar, and gave up his 1967 Mercedes-Benz...

So, you're an animal rights activist who hates women. Okay, maybe "hates" is a little strong. Let's just say you're "threatened" by the "mouthy" ones. You've put in a long day captioning photos for your blog of Hillary crying in between your sun salutations, avoiding honey and omelets in line...