Hey, you lucky country, you! Just as the Iraq War revealed so much sad truth about President Bush, Hillary Clinton's campaign has revealed just how fortunate we all are that she won't be president. After eight years of George W. Bush's tragic attempt to avenge his father...

At a rally outside a medical supply discount store in Clearwater, Florida, Democratic Presidential Wishful Hillary Clinton announced she would create a new federal agency called The Department Of Goalpost Relocation, whose specific task would be to keep track and re-configure the U.S. government's justifications for doing...

On the campaign trail and discussing his statement that the U.S. will be out of Iraq by 2013, John McCain really said, "It's not a timetable; it's victory. It's victory, which I have always predicted. I didn't know when we were going to win World...

Speaking at a press conference outside a Denny's restaurant in Tukwila, Washington a visibly scheming McCain admitted he'd opposed most affirmative action proposals in the past, but stated, "At this time in our great nation's history, it's time for new thinking and fresh ideas. That's...

According to numbers just released from a unique Clinton campaign sponsored 'entrance poll,' today's primary does not look promising for presumptuous Democratic presidential hopeful, Barack Obama. "West Virginia voters fit squarely with the Clinton demographic: hard working, white voters whose deep-seated racism and superstition makes them believe the...

The mainstream media and political pundits have properly spanked Barack Obama's confusing presidential primary campaign. He simply hasn't closed the deal, appealed to white working class voters, shown us that he's a regular guy, or been sufficiently entertaining. I'd like to join the chorus of literally...

At a town hall meeting in Pinehurst, North Carolina Senator Hillary Clinton told a crowd of about 100 that she wouldn't be beholden to the 'elitist cult of mathematicians and numerologists' when it came to deciding the winner of the Democratic primary race. In response to a question about...

In a hastily called press conference, Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama tonight disassociated in the strongest terms yet from his controversial colleague Hillary Clinton. "The events of the past several days have made it clear that Senator Clinton is not helping my campaign one bit," Obama said, "This is a...

Gas Tax Holiday still not enough to convince voters? Time to double down. Or triple down...

I've spent all night playing the new Grand Theft Election VIII and it's the most exciting First Political Shooter since the original Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore. I don't want ruin the game for you, but it's just so huge that there's enough gameplay...