You're a little old for me, Secretary of Homeland Security Elect, but boy are you tough. According to Wikipedia, you're "an avid basketball fan who regularly plays tennis." That's so cute! Now, Napolitano, to be honest, we couldn't be more different. I'm not the athletic type, I get sports terms...

Sarah Palin may be the worst thing to happen to this country since continental drift separated Russia from Alaska. Some think she's cute in spite of it all, others think it's not fair to talk about female politicians that way. Personally, I prefer conservative ladies with...

Apparently, Madonna is part of the new "slut vote" constituency. At least according to Kathryn Jean Lopez of The National Review, who is positively fed up with the singer's "whore-at-fifty-shtick." Ha! I thought we had exhausted the topic of Madge's unabashed sexuality back when she rolled beneath heaps of tulle...

Ever notice that the porn industry loves the Catholic Schoolgirl but ignores her Hebrew Schoolgirl counterpart? And did you know that only one Miss America has ever been a Jewess? Never fear. The time has finally come for Jewish women to be objectified and fetishized just like spicy Latinas, ebony...

How stupid does The Human Life Alliance think teenagers are? If someone handed me a copy of Just for Girls, the latest hip "cutting edge" abstinence magazine when I was thirteen, I would have smelled a rat immediately and asked who stole my Sassy with Courtney...

Ok, so your movies are about guys who bash women in order to dissipate the insecurity and self-loathing associated with being chubby and unpopular in high school. I've accepted this. Must be a market for it, or something.

To paraphrase Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., the best ideas...

Those of us with the slightest grasp of social decorum probably don't roam the streets making fun of poor women with bruises, drug habits, and exposed genitalia, who may or may not be pregnant and passed out.

But when such women end up on TV, we see them as...

Remember Elizabeth Wurtzel, the sexy/suicidal Gen X-er who penned the classic 90s angst memoir Prozac Nation, in between attending classes at Harvard and vomiting up her Lithium?

She's back, with a smart article in The Los Angeles Times about the state of women today....

Have you heard the news? Times is hard. We may be headed for another Great Depression. But the 1930s sure do need some 21st Century sprucing up! A few ideas:

* Kanye West remixes of Woody Guthrie songs
* Special Playboy issue: "Girls of...

Some people have decided that Ellen Page's March 1 SNL sketch was a sly way for the cheeky tomboy to let us know she digs girls while simultaneously rolling her sarcastic-teenager-eyes at us for even caring.

Like, why does everything have to have a freaking label?