Mitt Romney: • Mitt Romney: You've Already Eye-Fucked Him; Now Vote For Him • Vote For Mitt: He's Just Like You, Only Without The Swearing, Drinking, Smoking And Monogamy • Vote For Romney: His Pecs Are Like God Damn Dinner Plates • Mitt Romney: Quickly Changed Every Position He Ever Had...

Now that the Mississippi election is officially behind us, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of my supporters, and to wish the best of luck to incumbent governor Haley Barber, who ran a heckuva campaign. In the interest of history, I sat down last night with my...

Good for use in Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo, and any number of secret CIA prisoner sites.... Replace regular showerheads with super-low-pressure eco-friendly showerheads. Pretend old showerheads have to be ordered from factory in Tucson. Play cassette tape of Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra. Stop tape before chorus...