Ah, bipartisanship... So President Obama heads to capital hill to talk to the GOP:

"The goal is to seek their input. He wants to hear their ideas," White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said. "If there are good ideas -- and I think he assumes there will be -- we will look at those ideas."

But even before he gets there, the two GOP leaders, John Boehner and Eric Cantor, have already told House Republicans to vote against the bill.

Looks like Obama's decision to cave into the GOP by taking family planning money for poor bill out of the bill didn't even do much good. Shocker.

Sadly, Obama's response to the GOP after "seeking their input" and "hearing their ideas" is probably going to be to cave even more, and make the stimulus bill even less effective. Whereupon the GOP will vote against it anyway.

Let's see if we've got this straight: because of GOP complaints and Obama's belief that something called "bipartisanship" exists, the Democrats ends up passing a stimulus bill so weak that it has no chance of working, but the GOP still votes against it so they're hands are clean and they can run against the Dem's poor management of the economy in 2010. Welcome to worst case scenario.

What about going back to partisanship in which the party America voted for gets to decide shit?

So we know what Obama's response will be -- he's already caved -- but what should it be? Take the poll....  More ...

Daniel Radcliffe Invites Obama Girls to Hogwarts

- People

Citigroup is slowly learning the reason why they can't have nice things. It's that stupid $45 billion government bailout.

After reports surfaced that Citigroup had ordered themselves up a brand new $50 million jet, lawmakers and rational people everywhere started pressuring them to cancel delivery of the Dassault Falcon 7X, arguing that buying a private plane after getting rescued by taxpayer money is too stupid to even bother talking about. Citigroup responded that a $50 million jet could help cut costs, though it failed to be the first on the planet to explain how a $50 million private jet purchase could ever possibly be considered a cost-cutting measure. Citigroup reps then went on to complain about the cancellation penalties they'll incur if they don't go through with the purchase, and when no one gave a crap executives likely just fell on the floor and burst into tears.

In the end, they canceled the jet, and now none of the thousands of Citigroup employees around the world has any idea how they're supposed to get around. Answer them that, stupid congress. Stupid taxpayers. Who's gonna drive Citigroup home tonight?

During his media blitz this morning Rod Blagojevich happened to mention to Diane Sawyer that he even considered appointing Oprah Winfrey to the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. Since there is no indication that Oprah ever expressed the slightest interest in the Senate seat, it appears that Blago believed he had the power to draft people into government service, whether they wanted to be a Senator or not. And of course, who is easier to push around than Oprah?

Rod might have been onto something. Had Oprah been forcibly appointed to the Senate, would that have been such a mistake? Think of all the fun that Senator Oprah would have brought to Capitol Hill:

-Senators could have begun every session by looking for stuff stuck to the bottom of their chairs.

- Oprah could have pushed a bill through to make her favorite things the official Favorite Things Of All Citizens of the United States.

- Lots more surprise Senate floor walk-ons from John Travolta

- Writing a fake memoir would be declared a capital felony

- BFF Marriage would be legalized, allowing two women to marry as long as they promise that they're just BFF's and totally not gay for each other.

It's conceivable that without the Internet and the ability of the Obama campaign to harness Web users, Barack Obama might not have even been the Democratic nominee, much less president. Obama's "netroots" organization represented a sea change in the way modern campaigns are run. Now, with Obama in the White House, his administration is trying to recapture that same support and enthusiasm, and turn the netroots into an instrument of government.

A new group, "Organizing for America," will be housed in the Democratic National Committee and focus on using the Internet and social networking channels to mold public opinion. Perhaps the best-known example of this strategy is Obama's habit of posting his weekly video address on YouTube.

How can you get in on this revolution in participatory goverment? We've got an overzealous netroots organizer standing by to answer your questions. Just type your query in the box below and get ready to join the Team Obama of the Future!  More ...

In case you were worried that the press was gonna give Obama a free ride, you can rest easy: they're already all up in Obama's face. So what are they mad about? Not enough information about the bailout? Being restricted from showing what's really going on in Iraq and Afghanistan? No, who care about those things -- this was about something important: they were shut out of the second swearing-in. Actually, they weren't even shut out -- only the TV reporters were shut out, as four print reporters were on hand to witness it. But that didn't stop the press from devoting nearly half of the Robert Gibbs' first press conference to the exciting details of the second swearing in.

But according to Politico, there is "growing media frustration" with Obama. CNN's crack reporter Ed Henry was especially angry: "It is ironic, the same day that the president is talking about transparency, we were not let in." Because, you know, if it's not on TV, and the TV reporters aren't there to come on right after and tell you what you've just seen -- and end with some cutesy insightful toss like "The Obama team 'swears' this will be the last one. Back to you Wolf" -- it didn't actually happen.

Thank God the press is going to be there to keep the Obama team honest and focused on what's really important. Like the second swearing in. But that's not all that's angered them so far. Here's the breakdown of what's making the press breakdown...  More ...

Was anything at that sham inauguration real? First we hear that the oath of office wasn't valid. Now we learn that the music played by Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman and some other guys, was a recording. They were just finger-syncing!

Was anything about that inauguration for reals? Here's a rundown of inauguration fact versus inauguration fiction:  More ...

Now that President Obama has ordered the closure of Gitmo, the elephant in the room is cuffed, wearing an orange jumpsuit. Where will we put these detainees? Some of them are real terrorists, while others are Canadian. Most US senators are doing the ole NIMHS (not in my home state), while an editor at The Pitch, a Kansas City newspaper, is practically begging for a chance to guard detainees at Fort Leavenworth:

"I, for one, would be proud if Fort Leavenworth took [detainees]. Recalling George W. Bush's famous phrase, I say: Bring 'em on." (h/t Andrew Sullivan)

Interesting. However, let us not forget that Leavenworth is in Kansas. Haven't these terrorists been tortured enough?

Where should we put the detainees after Gitmo is closed?

In a time machine that is set to Sept 8, 2001, which gives us three days to put locks on all cockpit doors.

How about next door to Jim, the Level 3 sex offender who I just found out is my neighbor?

On a ranch, in Crawford.

In the co-host chair on "Hannity."

In the new Hooverville, an empty Circuit City.

View Result

The Food and Drug Administration has approved the first-ever human trials of embryonic stem cell research. Scientists at the Geron Corporation will be injecting special nerve cells, developed from human stem cells, into patients who have suffered severe spinal cord injuries. The subjects will be observed to determine both the health effects of the procedure, as well as any improvement in the patients' condition.

President Obama is expected to loosen the restrictions placed on stem cell research under the Bush administration, hopefully opening doors to treatment for Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and other diseases. But what exactly is a stem cell and what are the implications of this research? We got our lovable Q&A team back together to get the answers.  More ...

Despite that America is facing a potential depression, and unemployment is at over 7%, fat addict (Faddict?) Rush Limbaugh hopes that President Obama fails. "I know what his plans are... I don't want them to succeed." Limbaugh, who recently signed a 400 million dollar contract with a company that just laid off 9% of its workforce, categorized Republicans who "lie down" with Obama as drinkers of Kool-Aid.

Does this mean Democrats can start questioning the patriotism of Republicans who don't support Obama? We are in such terrible times, the President needs the support of ALL Americans, even unpatriots like Rush Limbaugh. Oh my God, it's like post-9/11 America, in reverse!

HOLY SHIT! KARMA IS A BITCH, ELEPHANTS!

We called 600 random phone numbers and asked every person who picked up the phone to answer this question:

Why do YOU want President Obama to fail? Tell us in the comments.

Why, Barack Obama, aren't you just the sassiest! On his very first day in office the new president is already breaking some of his predecessor's long-standing rules. President Obama was spotted behind his Oval Office desk without wearing a jacket, a definite no-no in the Bush administration. Talk about the audacity of shirtsleeves!

Though the shift in dress code may be an attempt to make the Oval Office a more comforting, welcoming environment, some pundits are already making fun. ("Still unclear which press staffer will be the first to show up in flip-flops," says Politico's Ben Smith.) But the outgoing president was known as something of a stickler for rules in his sacred space. What are some of the other laws laid down by Bush? Roll your mouse over the image to find out.  More ...

Just the other day Caroline Kennedy was being called the front-runner to be appointed to Hillary Clinton's senate seat by Gov. David Paterson. Today she's dropping out, citing "personal reasons," which is another way of saying "to spend time with my family," which is another way of saying "things will get very embarrassing/felonious if I don't drop out/resign immediately. Dammit, do you know what these people are capable of?"

So why do you think Caroline really dropped her bid for the senate?  More ...

Obama's first day is almost over, and looking back on it we say this: 23/6 is making what we believe to be the first call for the impeachment of President Obama. Why? We haven't quite got that figured out yet, but given that there's going to be some impeach Obama movement at some point, we might as well get in there first. Plus we're so used to be disappointed, it's hard to break the old habit.

So what'd Obama do on the first day? He froze White Housee salaries, he froze trials at Guantanamo, made some phone calls to Israel and Gaza, and issued new White House ethics regulations.

Yeah? So what? We had a busy day, too -- remembered to TIVO "24," and, um, well, there's the "24" thing.

Oh, and we started the Obama backlash. So why are you already disappointed in Obama? Take the poll....  More ...

In the grand tradition of...uh, tradition, outgoing president George W. Bush left something for Barack Obama on the Oval Office desk. And no, it wasn't a steaming pile of excrement. It was note wishing the new president well and offering some advice on life in the White House.

The content of the note is supposedly a big secret, though luckily, our spies in Washington were able to sneak past White House security, infiltrate the Oval Office, make a copy of the letter (portable scanner, natch) and get it back to us so we could post it for your reading pleasure. What advice does 43 have for 44? Take a look.  More ...