The gloves are finally coming off. With Hillary Clinton increasing her lead in the polls, Barack Obama has decided to go on the attack. In an interview with the New York Times, Obama said "now is the time" to become more aggressive. Apparently, until now Obama was using the grizzly bear strategy with the Clintons—play dead and hope they'll give up and leave you alone. But the Clintons will never give up. And they will never, ever leave us alone.

But if the Times article is any indication, Obama's aggressiveness looks pretty much like the same old Obama: soft, effete, wordy and conflict-averse. Here's just one example of his offensive onslaught:

...one of the things that I firmly believe is that we've got to be clear with the American people right now about the important choices that we're going to need to make in order to get a mandate for change, not to try to obfuscate and avoid being a target in the general election and then find yourself governing without any support for any bold propositions.

Devastating.

So when the new "aggressive" Obama fails to make an impact, what then?

Obama Campaign Projected:

October 30: Before the Democratic presidential debate in Philadelphia, Obama greets Hillary, but deliberately keeps looking over her shoulder as if trying to spot someone more interesting to talk to.

December 10: After John Edwards airs an aggressive attack ad on Hillary, Obama releases a statement saying he "has strong points of agreement with John Edwards."

December 25: Obama sends Hillary a holiday greeting card with a signature that is clearly stamped, not hand-written.

January 15: Obama changes his "status" on his Facebook page to "not really liking a certain someone right now."

March 8: Obama releases an ad that shows Obama saying "my mother always taught me that if I can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all," after which Obama holds up a photo of Hillary, and then stares silently at the camera.

August 28: At the Democratic Convention in Denver, Obama orders a 5:00 a.m. wakeup call for Hillary's room.

October 3: Obama publishes a modernist novel said by Harold Bloom, one of the few who could decipher it, to contain a "devastating allegorical critique of an ambitious power-hungry woman."

November 4: Hillary Clinton is elected President of the United States.

November 5: Obama hold a press conference announcing he has "had enough," he "refuses to be held back," and is going to "enter a new stage in his campaign" which will be "even more forceful."