Odds that...

Victims of the brutal cyclone in Bangladesh get even more American compassion and support than that dog, Iggy: 26,000-1

The Russian cult threatening to blow itself up in a cave would come out if they knew Lindsay Lohan is out of jail: 14-6

While Janet Huckabee campaigns for her husband, GOP hopeful Mike Huckabee, this afternoon at a seafood restaurant in South Carolina, she eagerly offers to crack a customer's crab legs with a grenade launcher: 8-5

When Katie Holmes unwraps her first-anniversary present from Tom Cruise Sunday, she smiles weakly and thanks him for the walk-on role in his next movie: 2-1

Backstage at the American Music Awards Sunday evening, Justin Timberlake ignores Avril Lavigne, Alicia Keys finds out those old men are Duran Duran, and Queen Latifah angles for a threesome with Nicole Scherzinger and Rihanna: 1-1