It's confirmed. The United States is officially setting back global efforts at addressing climate change. At a United Nations conference on global warming, the European Union threatened to boycott additional talks proposed by the Bush administration if the United States continues its refusal to get on board with plans agreed on by many of the summit delegates. Former Vice President Al Gore had the harshest words for Bush & co., saying, "my own country, the United States, is principally responsible for obstructing progress."

Though the Bush administration has long been criticized for not doing enough to combat global warming, the GOP may soon discover the issue is causing defections among voters who have traditionally been die-hard Republicans. Who are these newly environmentally-conscious Americans?

If you recently decided to go duck hunting in any one of several Southern states, you probably would have returned home disappointed, and this time not because your son acted like a sissy when he got duck blood on him. No, your disappointment would have stemmed from not being able to locate any ducks. As our climate grows ever warmer, cold winter temperatures arrive later and later in the season, delaying ducks' southern migration. These changes, along with shifts in the migration patterns of other animals such as moose, are leading many hunters, eagerly anticipating a fruitful excursion, to accidentally take off from work at the local RV dealership too early, only to end up sitting around in the woods, getting drunk and not shooting anything.

Because of this, more and more hunters are becoming worried about climate change and global warming. Now we know under what conditions a gun nut will support a liberal cause: if he's convinced it will help him shoot things, or better yet, that it will help future generations shoot things.

There exists now, for the first time ever, the possibility of seeing a mulleted demolition derby enthusiast in a camo vest going to the polls to vote for a Green Party candidate. And why? Because while the Republicans might help hunters get their hands on an assault riffle, there's no point in having one if there's no wandering wildlife at which to aim it. We might very well see a whole movement of hillbillies and Appalachians removing bull horns from their trucks to increase fuel efficiency, while their wives lobby for more eco-friendly non-aerosol cans of Aqua Net.

If warming trends continue (and they will), our modern day frontiersmen will be forced to walk a fine line. If they support the party that protects their God-given right to shoot at things, that very party's policies might one day end up killing all the things worth shooting before hunters get a fair crack at it. Perhaps those hunters and their sissy sons are more ideologically alike than either would have ever thought.