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NFL recap: explaining the Jessica Simpson effect
The Simpson/Romo relationship is fodder for both Giants fans and drag queens alike.
In the days leading up to the Dallas Cowboys' playoff game against the New York Giants, much was made over whether "pop star/actress/whatever she's supposed to be" Jessica Simpson was a distraction to her boyfriend, Dallas quarterback Tony Romo. The controversy only became more heated after Simpson and Romo were spotted vacationing in Mexico in the week prior to the game.
Now, after losing to a lesser Giants team helmed by a lesser Manning, it's clear that the Cowboys suffered from Simpson's effect on the team, or what scientists are calling "the Simpson effect." A look at what Jessica Simpson did while watching the game demonstrates a clear correlation between her actions and the team's downfall.
Did Jessica Simpson cause the Cowboys' loss to the Giants?
| Game time/ball position | What Jessica was doing | Result |
|---|---|---|
| 4:25 p.m. (Pregame) | Jessica gets ready for the game by putting on a pink Romo jersey in front of a mirror, but removes it when she sees another girl directly across from her wearing the same outfit. | Dallas loses the coin toss, Giants elect to receive. |
| 4:42 p.m. (1st and 4 at NYG 4) | Jessica cheers when her boyfriend finally tells his mother to stop her constant meddling, but doesn’t realize she’s watching a repeat of "Everybody Loves Raymond." | Handoff to Barber, stopped in backfield for a loss of two yards. |
| 5:10 p.m. (Halftime) | Jessica takes a congratulatory phone call from the president. He explains that since they started showing her movies to Guantanamo detainees, they no longer need to use waterboarding. | Commercial: "Endless shrimp is back at Red Lobster." |
| 5:20 p.m. (1st and 10 at DAL 43) | Jessica is almost certain that dogs have bellybuttons, but can’t find one on her Maltese no matter how hard she looks. | Incomplete pass to Witten. |
| 5:57 p.m. (3rd and 9 from the NYG 22) | Jessica goes outside, sees her shadow. Comes back inside. | Cornerback R.W. McQuarters intercepted a pass into the end zone with 9 seconds left, turning away a last-ditch drive by Romo. Six more weeks of winter. |
Filed under: Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo, a place for ribs
