Entertainment

With Nikki Finke's "Deadline Hollywood Daily" on hiatus, where's an entertainment industry insider supposed to go for news of the writers' strike? We'll tell you. Right here is where they're supposed to go, as 23/6 takes over for the LA Weekly columnist with our own Diurnal Hollywood Countdown.

Grammys Fill Writerless Awards Show with Kanye West Tantrums

"The Writer's Guild of America does not like black people...who have 8 Grammy nominations," said rap sensation and emotional powder keg Kanye West, upon hearing that the 50th annual Grammy awards might not get a waiver from the WGA.

To kill time, and to avoid the ratings debacle of the recent Golden Globes awards, the Recording Academy has decided to set up a camera in the star's dressing room, and assail him with a series of perceived slights between the presentation of statuettes.

"Fortunately, it doesn't take much to set Mr. West off," said Academy President/CEO Neil Portnow. "We're going to place two quarters in an ash tray--which will lead to a diatribe about 50 Cent that should eat up about 15 minutes. We're also going to get a little stingy on the thread count of his bathroom hand towels."

"Who needs all that mutherf***ing patter anyway?" said Mr. West in a written statement, "I can do that. Let's see mutherf***ing Bruce Vilanch lay down some hot beats!"

Other nominees will pitch in to pad the broadcast as well. Both Amy Winehouse and Fergie will set themselves up on stage with a selection of alcohol and mixers, and audience members will be able to text in their guess as to which diva will be the first to achieve "Public Soiling."

Disney CEO Bob Iger's 27 Million Dollar Salary Includes Bonuses, Stock Awards, Slave

The Disney Corporation, who would have to shell out an additional 6 million dollars a year if they agreed to the proposals set forth by the striking WGA, paid their co-President and Chief Executive Bob Iger 27.7 million dollars in 2007, making him the Happiest Mogul at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Iger was paid a $2 million base salary, plus a $13.7 million bonus, in addition to $7.9 million in stock awards and $2.2 million in option awards, plus the ability to cut in front of even the handicapped kids at any of the company's theme parks. Insiders say this salary doesn't include the estimated worth of what Disney calls his "Executive Cinderella."

"Many of our execs are awarded a Cinderella," said an executive who spoke on condition of anonymity. "It's normally a young girl, around 16 or 17 years old, foreign, outfitted in the classic 'pre-slipper' Cinderella garb. She will sweep the floors, do the dishes, the mending, churn butter, etc. And it's entirely up to the executive if he wants to eventually be her 'Prince,' if you get my drift."

WGA leaders have declared that this bonus is nothing more than white slavery. "We don't have slaves at Disney," fired back Iger. "We call them 'Cast Members.'"

BREAKING: A striking writer was struck by a large, speeding pumpkin this morning at Disney's Alameda gate this a.m. More as it develops.