Business

Without admitting the obvious—that the U.S. economy is tumbling full throttle toward a recession—Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke told the House of Representatives Budget Committee on Thursday that he would be open to Congress' passing some sort of economic stimulus package.

But what kind of package? And what is it that's supposed to be stimulated? For the answers, check out our economically stimulating FAQ.

Q: I'm trying to be smarter on news events, but I have to say this whole economic stimulus talk has me befuddled. Can you help out?

A: Well, I'll try. It's complicated, but the gist of it has to do with the economic slowdown we're facing.

Q: Economic slowdown? I got pretty good Christmas presents.

A: Bully for you. Not so great for the rest of America. The stock market has gotten hammered the past few weeks, and the general outlook for the U.S. economy is pretty bleak.

Q: But...but, but, but tax cuts! Refund checks! The soft bigotry of low expectations!

A: Do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Q: Sort of.

A: Look, calm down. Congress and the president are working together to craft some kind of economic stimulus package. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has also said that such a stimulus package, implemented quickly, could help avert fears of a recession.

Q: Okay, sounds great. But do they have any specifics on how it might work?

A: Sure. For one thing, there's cutting interest rates.

Q: Oh, yeah. I've hear about the Fed doing that all the time. So how does that work exactly?

A: Ah. Well, it's a fairly complex series of fiscal, um...vicissitudes that also serve to bolster the, uh, indexed...

Q: You have no idea, do you?

A: Actually, no. But, you know...lowering interest rates is good, right?

Q: You're asking me? Look at our roles here. I'm Q. You're A. You're the guy who's supposed to A my Q's.

A: I know, I know. It's just that, damn, it's hard to get interested in anything involved the economy. What a drag.

Q: You're telling me. It wasn't my idea to start this whole thing. You think I really want to know about this stuff? Listen, whaddaya say we bag this whole thing and grab a couple of beers. I could use a little "stimulus package," if you know what I mean.

A: Well, I'm really not supposed to but...ah, what the hell.

Q: Awesome. This was the best FAQ ever.