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Lindsay Lohan lives her life like a desperate, attention-starved candle in the wind
Careful, hon. Horizontal stripes can make you look like an obnoxious whorebag.
Money-grubbing washed-up starlet Lindsay Lohan is aiming to elevate herself to iconic status. In New York Magazine's spring fashion issue, she can be found reenacting Marilyn Monroe's infamous shoot with fashion photographer Bert Stern, known as "The Last Sitting."
Monroe, like Lohan, took heat for her unprofessional on-set antics, and loved her some booze and drugs, but when the mag asked the uninsurable, thrice-rehabbed Lohan if she might meet a similar fate as Marilyn's (an alleged barbiturate overdose), Lindsay replied with a flicker of annoyance: "I sure as hell wouldn't let it happen to me."
Then again, Marilyn didn't have a trashy Long Island mom with boundary issues cracking the whip. After the jump, why else Lohan's only a pretender to the throne.
Why LiLo will never be the grand Marilyn Monroe-esque icon she hopes to be.
| MARILYN MONROE | LINDSAY LOHAN |
|---|---|
| Once sang "Happy Birthday" to President John F. Kennedy | Once sang Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" on a tabletop in Aspen, between body shots |
| Married to baseball great Joe Dimaggio and celebrated playwright Arthur Miller | Hooked up with Wilmer Valderrama once in an Escalade |
| Infamously filmed coyly pushing her windblown dress down in "The Seven Year Itch" | Infamously filmed passed out in a grey hoodie |
| Greatest comedic role was in "Some Like It Hot," with Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis | Still playing her greatest comedic role: Michael Lohan's daughter |
| Role model for Madonna | Role model for girls who want to make out with 3 Italian guys |
| Rumored to have been murdered by the mob and the CIA | Rumored to have stolen like, 10 swag bags right out from under a publicist's nose at Sundance |
| Proved her skill as a serious actress in "Bus Stop" | Proved her skill as a serious actress when insisting she never got a boob job |
| Called "America's greatest sex symbol" | Nicknamed "Firecrotch" |
| Painted by Andy Warhol | Got a guy named Andy to drive her around yesterday, after she barfed in her purse |
Filed under: Lindsay Lohan nude, Marilyn Monroe, wannabes, oy
