Election 2008

While the media was busy processing what happened with the Democrats in Ohio and Texas, John McCain took the opportunity to get something over with that he was not looking forward to. No, not a second intervention with Cindy. On Wednesday, John McCain accepted the endorsement of George Bush in a short press conference at the White House.

If you're John McCain, this is obviously a delicate matter. Which is why we weren't suprised to see the following letter land in our News Advice inbox, a letter we were only too pleased to answer:

Dear 23/6:

I am a senior citizen from Arizona. I have a very wide social circle—mostly other seniors, and lots of shut-ins from around the country. In the next year, I hope to expand that circle to include even more seniors and shut-ins. And hopefully some racists, too.

An old acquaintance of mine recently asked me to have lunch and then take some photos with him that will be posted on the internet and also answer some questions from some bystanders. I'm going to need his assistance soon, as I am about to incur a huge financial debt that he can help with, so I feel like I couldn't say no.

The problem is that many of the people that I want to become my new friends don't like him. He's very cocky, he's not so smart, and he started a war in the Middle East that has become the worst foreign policy disaster in United State history. Also, he has a creepy laugh.

I see the charming side in him, but most others don't. I don't want to offend him but I don't want my new potential friends to see me with him. Help!

All best,

Old, Angry, and Confused in Arizona

Dear Old, Angry, and Confused in Arizona:

First of all, don't feel bad for asking. You'd be surprised how commonly we get questions in this general area (e g. "my best friend is a war criminal," "my husband seems to have caught the genocide bug" "a Navy buddy of mine wants to bomb Iran").

In your case, given that you've already committed to the lunch, you should follow through. But consider using certain strategies to mitigate the fallout.

• Try standing a foot or two behind him.
• Don't look dour—that's too obvious and he'll notice. You know when people comment that someone "had a smile plastered on their face?" That's the kind of smile you should have.
• Keep it light. Don't run from his creepy laugh—try to draw it out. It will make people focus on what a jerk the guy is and you'll win points for standing beside, or slightly behind, a social outcast.
• When you take questions afterwards, let your friend answer most of them. While he answers, look around absent-mindedly like you're not paying attention.
• If you shake hands at the end, shake for an awkwardly long amount of time, so as to emphasize that this is more official than friendly.
• Blink messages in Morse code with your eyes.
• Never be seen with him ever again.

Hope this helps, Old, Angry, and Confused in Arizona.
From, your friends at 23/6