Election 2008

It was Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama mano a mano last night at the 489th Democratic Debate of 2008, and like all the most respected media outlets, we had an experienced liveblogger typing away during every minute of it.

We're pleased to welcome a new voice to our stable of top-notch livebloggers for this most recent debate: an underinformed, overstimulated Wesleyan sophomore.

Take it away, underinformed, overstimulated Wesleyan sophomore!

7:59 p.m.: Welcome to my liveblog for the Democratic presidential debate at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia! I'm so excited to apply everything I've learned the past four semesters in college to analyzing this debate.

8:01: The debate will be moderated by ABC News anchor/corporate stooge Charles Gibson, and former Bill Clinton staffer George Stephanopoulos. White male hegemony, anyone? Looking forward to picking apart how these two are "manufacturing consent" tonight!

8:12: Gibson asks Obama about his "clinging to religion" comments and asks if he understands why people find it patronizing. Hah, religion, the Ecstasy of the people.

8:22: Gibson poses a question to Obama about Jeremiah Wright's anti-American comments. But has anyone considered that Wright said some pretty true things about pervasive racism in America? Read your Cornel West, folks.

8:32: Stephanopoulos tells Clinton that 60% of voters don't believe she's honest, and brings up the "sniper fire" speech. Hillary says she hopes it is "something you can look over"--right after saying we should investigate Obama's "relationships" with people like Rev. Farrakhan! Whoa, where's the double standard police? I'd hope she, as a woman, would recognize this as problematic. You take any great thinker from an Intro to Women's Studies class—say, Betty Friedan or Simone de Beauvoir—and she'd surely agree with me.

8:36: A woman asks Obama why he doesn't wear the American flag. Why, oh, why do we insist on privileging the signified over the sign?

8:37: Wait, I think I meant "the sign over the signified." You see what I'm saying though.

8:42: Stephanopoulos asks Obama about his connection to a former Weather Underground member. Awesome. Can you even imagine? Setting off bombs against the pigs at the bureaucratic trough, smoking weed, listening to Dylan, reading McLuhan, smoking weed...

8:46: A voiceover out to commercial intones, "Clinton vs. Obama, one-on-one." It strikes me that politics are like a sports event. Think about it: there are the "play-by-play announcers" (moderators), the "fans" (the audience), a "game clock" (the clock for timing the candidates), and afterwards people want to pronounce a "winner" (Obama). I can't believe nobody's made this politics/sports analogy before.

9:18: Sorry, I missed a whole section about taxes and economics. My new iPhone I got for Christmas was going haywire, I think from interference from my satellite cable.

9:24: Both candidates hedge over gun control. Who are they trying to win over, Charlton Heston's heirs? As anyone with three credits in sociology can tell you, people kill people, when given enough economic incentive or after being raised in an environment that tacitly condones violence—but so do guns!

9:47: The candidates make their closing statements. The camera lingers on a haloed Chelsea in the stands for a few seconds. Jesus, she's so hot now. I wonder if she likes guys in cords who listen to Cat Power?

10:01: Off to smoke a bowl at my friend Julian's Spanish-speaking vegan co-op. Until next time, amigos.

Posted by: Teddy Wayne      I’m a fan of Teddy Wayne