April 17, 2008

The "Sex and the City" movie: who should die?

Remember, you can only kill one.

Actress Cynthia Nixon recently let slip a secret about the upcoming "Sex and the City" movie. According to Nixon, "a character dies in the movie." The actress wouldn't let on who dies, or how, leaving America to pant with thrill-kill speculation.

Who should die in the "Sex and the City" movie, and how?

Carrie. She gets sick of being splashed by that bus, finally jumps in front of it.

Steve. Ashamed that he can’t overcome his pronounced speech impediment, he eats a load of pills and chokes on his own tongue while passed out.

The moviegoing public. Self-inflicted soda straw stab wound following the fifteenth Sarah Jessica Parker “I couldn’t help but wonder...” voiceover.

Charlotte and husband Harry. Their adopted Chinese baby arrives contaminated with “tree man” disease, infecting Charlotte and Harry, spreading to their throats and closing their breathing passages. They suffocate in their home because they are too ashamed of their appearance to go out and seek medical care.

Samantha. F*ck swing mishap.

Big. Realizes it's nothing but "Law & Order" after this. Swallows a gun.

Mario Cantone. His voice is confused for a fire alarm and he is trampled by a panicked crowd.

Baby Avery. Overdose.

"'Sex and the City' director addresses death rumor" - CNN
"Sex and the City Spoilers" - BuzzFeed
"'Sex and the City' Movie: We Know Who Dies (Updated)" - NY Mag
Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers
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