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Cheesesteaks and heartbreaks: the PA primary wrap-up
It was the night America had been looking forward to for weeks, and like most eagerly anticipated events, it came and went with barely a whimper. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama spent practically the entire month of April attempting to shake hands with every single resident of Pennsylvania, and by 9 p.m. Eastern time, it was pretty much all over—great news for growing base of mobilized, politically minded young people who were waiting for the returns to come in before going out to get wasted. By a margin of about 10 percentage points, Hillary Clinton emerged as the clear winner in Pennsylvania, while at CNN the clear winner was the 72" plasma TV which spent yet another night thrilling to the delicate yet sensuous massage of John King's fingertips.
Yes, another primary come and gone. Hillary's still in it, the delegate count is now that much closer, and we've got another 11 days to wait before the next big primary. Okay, really 14 days, assuming you don't consider Guam to be the next big primary (though wouldn't it be great if the Democratic nominee for president were actually to be decided by the Guamanians? Guamans? Guamites? Whatever.)
So what did we learn from this primary night? We learned that Hillary needs to borrow a few bucks, just until the weekend when she gets paid. We learned that blue collar Americans are standing so close to hammering steel mills they still can't hear the difference between "Obama" and "Osama." We learned that Hillary Clinton knows a lot of people struggling to pay their mortgages and utility bills, while Barack Obama knows a man who lost his home trying to pay medical bills for his three children with cystic fibrosis. And we learned that Clinton and Obama really need to start hanging out with different people because, man, that shit is depressing.
And as the dust settles and the campaign continues, who knows what the next round in the fight for the nomination will bring? Well, we know...probably more name-calling, the deliberate misinterpretation of the opponent's statements, and terrifying and embarrassing campaign advertisements. And we here at 23/6 will bring it all to you. What, you think we're going to suffer alone?
"Hillary Clinton's Pennsylvania Primary Speech" - NYT"Barack Obama's Pennsylvania Primary Speech" - NYT
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