I Want To Be Number Two: Bobby Jindal

Jindal showing McCain how he'd prevent him from breaking a hip

The presidential race has hit the boring stretch: the nominees have been selected, and now we have to pretend to be interested in the issues (like energy policy), before it heats up again with sleazy character attacks in the fall.

But there is one interesting thing left to happen before then: the selection of the running mates. Who is going to be the guy we'll all sort of hate in about in a year for letting himself be so emasculated? The list on both sides is long. As a service to readers, we'll be taking a look at those in the running.

First up? Bobby Jindal, governor of Louisiana. He's young, and he's currently being pushed by Newt Gingrich. Whether that hurts or helps is an open question.

So who is Bobby Jindal and why is he here?

BOBBY JINDAL

Current job: Governor of Louisiana.

Age: 37.

Astrological sign: Gemini.

A-hole factor (1-10): 8.

Vibe: Creepy.

Regular guyness: Very low. Went to Brown. Was a Rhodes Scholar.

Accomplishments:

Youngest current governor in the country.

First non-white to serve as governor of Louisiana since Reconstruction.

First governor of the United States whose legal name is "Piyush."

Weirdo factor: Extremely high. In 1994, he wrote an essay for the right-wing Catholic journal New Oxford Review about participating in an non-consenual exorcism in college in which a demon was cast out of a classmate. Jindal writes about feeling the demon as a "physical force distracting me." The weird part: Jindal claims the exorcism cured the student's cancer.

Brings to ticket: