Michelle Obama will be anything you want her to be

Elisabeth Hasselbeck quietly panicks as the racial balance of the table becomes even.

Maybe-First-Lady Michelle Obama co-hosted "The View" Wednesday, just like Cindy McCain did in April. Obama fist-bumped her tablemates, pretended to enjoy Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and gamely endured Barbara Walters' pantyhose banter (ugh).

Obama's also on the cover of Us Weekly, letting us know she shops at Target. It's all part of a mission to retool her image even as Cindy McCain keeps harping on "Proudgate." She defies typical First Lady categorization, but it's pretty easy to figure out how conservative Republicans see her, how her husband Barack sees her, and how she sees herself...

How conservative Republicans see her: