Is Barack Obama really the best choice for a black president?

Although he only worked as a city alderman, his party thought he was black enough to get the nation's attention.

Although he only worked as a junior senator, his party thought his strong voting record and charismatic personality would get the nation's attention. Also, he's black.

Vice President Bernie Mac takes the pressure off Chris Rock on the joke front. He also punches people in the grill.

Still undecided. Potentially Bernie Mac.

Has a one-liner response for every question in a debate (America is like a big-tittied woman!) and gets old white women to sing "It's Getting Hot in Here."

Barack Obama's bit about Hillary in the duck blind was kind of funny.

Overall winner: Chris Rock. While Barack Obama has more experience, Chris Rock's campaign slogan was "The Only Thing White is the House," indicating he could out-sass any political rival.

Gives stirring speech about survival in that voice that makes you want to get busy living.

Gives stirring speech about race that makes you feel guilty about touching your wallet whenever you bump into a black dude at a Knicks game.

Morgan Freeman's America suffers from a minor asteroid strike, leading to millions dead in coastal areas.

Barack Obama's national health care plan would provide reasonably priced coverage to middle class and lower class families.

Morgan Freeman put together a team of astronauts to blow the Wolf-Biederman comet out of the sky.

No stated position on potentially deadly asteroids or comets.

Overall winner: Tie. Morgan Freeeman and Barack Obama are both awesome, and by awesome, we mean as threatening to middle-class white people as soft-serve ice cream.

Kept his cool while his life was threatened, his son was accused of murder, his girlfriend got involved in a pharmaceuticals scandal, he was removed from the presidency, etc.

Became furious when attacks shifted to his wife, Michelle. Totally sucked at bowling because of all those flashing cameras.

Selling auto insurance. Batting for the ragtag Cleveland Indians.

Writing books. Teaching law students.

Son, Keith, finds and murders the man who attacked the president's daughter.

Malia Ann and Sasha seem all right and have yet to murder anyone.

Overall winner: Barack Obama. While Dennis Haysbert handles the pressure of office well, all the controversy generated by his own life means he has no time to fix the economy, patch up health care, or let Jack Bauer sleep - important issues for many Americans.