The Reader's Guide to Maureen Dowd

MoDo literally laughs about an alliterative allusion she adduced.

This week Maureen Dowd returned to one her ol' standbys for her column: "Pride and Prejudice." That's right, as you've probably guessed, Barack Obama is Mr. Darcy. Just be thankful she didn't trot out her Tracy and Hepburn references this time. But there were, as always, lots of fun wordplay and alliteration ("Hyde Park hauteur," "a miasma of ill-founded and mistaken premises"). In other words, another home run for the aging amanuensis of Washington's conventional wisdom.

So how well did you read this week (Dowd, not Austen)?

1. What does the use of "Mr. Darcy" in the title tell the reader?

a) Dowd is out of references.

b) Dowd has read "Pride & Prejudice."

c) This might be a column from 2005. Or 2004. Or 2001.

Answer: All of the above.

2. There is a classic Dowdian V.M.A. (virtually meanginless alliteration) in the second sentence. Fill in the blanks with the correct version:

"Obama met for an hour Tuesday with three dozen top Hillaryites at a hotel here, seeking their endorsement and ______ their ______.

a) bewitching their besmirching

b) beguiling their begrudging

c) bespoking their bajamas.

Answer: B.

3. Why is the above sentence so satisfying?

a) "Beguiling" and "begruding" both start with "b."

b) "Beguiling" and "begruding" both end with "ing."

c) Because Dowd is sassy, like Amanda Bonner from the movie, "Adam's Rib," that Dowd cites when she's not citing "Pride and Prejudice."

Answer: all of the above.

4. Fill in the blanks in the V.M.A. in Dowd's third paragraph:

"The Los Angeles Times reported that Hillary die-hards want to ______ a ______ in the Democratic platform..."

a) wank a plank

b) enshrine a whine

c) Darcy a doozy

Answer: B.

5. Dowd is comparing Obama to Darcy to make the incredibly original point that Obama is:

a) prideful

b) black

c) black and prideful

Answer: A.

6. Once the press has decided on a "take" on a candidate, a good columnist:

a) Dutifully accepts that take and writes different versions of the same column week after week after week.

b) Questions it and comes up with something original.

Answer: A.

7. Say you're a columnist and it helps the premise of your column to say that working class whites don't like Obama. But then a poll comes out showing exactly the opposite. What do you do?

Answer: Ignore it and make your point anyway: "Many Americans, especially blue collar, still feel uneasy about the Senate's exotic shooting star."

8. Dowd's last line is "Can Miss Bennet teach Mr. Darcy to let down his guard, be more sportive, and laugh at himself?"

What does this mean?

a) Obama has, um, a lot of pride or something.

b) Miss Bennet has a crush on Mr. Darcy.

c) Bridget Jones was a fun movie.

d) It doesn't matter because nobody read this far.

Answer: Whatever.