Election 2008

The search for Obama's running mate may finally be at an end. Obama campaign manager David Plouffe sent out an mass email today entitled "Barack's VP: Be the First to Know." Sign up and you'll get a text message announcing the pick. At least they're not doing it via Twitter.

Though rumors that Obama would announce Evan Bayh last week turned out not to be true, Bayh still seems to be the most favored candidate. What would Obama get with Bayh? Someone who loved the Iraq war almost as much as Dick Cheney. Bayh was a co-sponsor of the war bill and was in the Rose Garden for Bush's signing. He then turned against the war once it became unpopular. He was a Hillary supporter when she was in the lead. Then, when Obama won, Bayh's been at his side ever since. In short, a courageous maverick who does what he thinks is right.

The full rundown on Bayh after the jump...

Current job: Junior senator from Indiana

Age: 52

Astrological sign: Sagittarius

A-hole factor (1-10): 7

Vibe: Goyishe Joe Lieberman

Celebrity Look-a-like: James Cromwell

Quick Bio:

• Born.


• Father becomes Indiana senator.


• Manages to not die.


• Becomes Indiana Senator.

RGI (Regular Guyness Index)*: -7

• Real Name "Birch Evans Bayh III": -1


• From the Midwest: +2


• Born in a town called "Shirkieville": +1


• Father was a U.S. Senator: -3


• Attended St. Albans in Washington, D.C. : -2


• Attended public college (Indiana University): +2


• Wife Susan earns $1 million a year as a "professional board member." -3


• Episcopalian: -2


• Graduate school (JD at Virginia): -2


• Pro death penalty: +1


• Really into war: +3


• Though only if someone else fights them for him: -3


• And only when they're politically popular: -2

Pro:
Hasn't had an affair.

Con:
It would only make him more interesting.

Pro:
High approval ratings in his state.

Con:
State is full of yahoos, clods and louts.

Pro:
Whitest man in America.

Con:
Being white is kind of uncool now.

Pro:
Likeable.

Con:
So much so that he's unlikeable.

Brings to ticket: a lack of bad things that the other short-list candidates bring to ticket.

Fascinating fact about Evan Bayh: There are none.

Hotness to Opposite Sex (1-10): 5

Hotness to Same Sex (1-10): 2

Most likely scandal:
On casual Friday at the White House, Bayh is embarrassed when photos surface that show that his khakis were frayed on the bottom of his left hem. He offers to resign, but President Obama refuses to accept the resignation, after asking Bayh to remind him who he is again.

Odds of being chosen: 1 - 1.

* RGI is an index of the kind of ersatz "regular guyness" that millionaire, chickenhawk, fake blue-collar, overly-made up jackass blowhards like Chris Matthews have decided is the paramount qualification to be the President of the United States.

Posted by: Stephen Sherrill      I’m a fan of Stephen Sherrill