Hillary Clinton is reportedly assembling a "Whip Team" to quell any anti-Obama demonstrations among her supporters during the DNC. But why? What could her supporters possibly do to disrupt the convention? Explained an insider:

"If people... want to start blowing kazoos and making a scene we want to make sure we've got people who stand in front of them with Obama signs."

Kazoos? Seriously?

Oh right, they're a bunch of overgrown children who want nothing more than to wail and scream until they get their way. Hillary now realizes that her supporters, who continue to demand that she be put into the White House by military force if necessary, are a frenzied, frothing bunch that cannot be trusted. Here's the playbook for what the "Whip Team" will be on the watch for, and how best to respond:

If you see: Anyone who looks like this guy...

Whip Response: Adult Babies.

Whip Team should pull on adult diapers and swarm around the kazoo players, holding signs that read "Adult Babies For Obama." The crowd will assume that the Kazoo players are merely members of a collection of infantilism fetishists who achieve sexual arousal by wearing diapers and being treated like babies, and coincidentally support change we can believe in.

If you see: Anyone who looks like this lady...

Whip Response: Covet The Handbag

Have a black Whip Team member eye her handbag. She'll clutch it to her chest and take off running.

If you see: Anyone who looks like this guy...

Whip Response: Turn Up The Heat

Should any Hillary supporters resort to self-immolation, run up next to the person or persons engulfed in flame and hold up signs that read, "WE'RE ON FIRE FOR OBAMA!"

If you see: Anyone who looks like this lady, anywhere within 50 miles of Denver...

Whip Response: Fire at will.

If you see: Anyone who looks like this guy...

Whip Response: Abort! Abort mission! It's too dangerous! Get your men out of there you don't stand a chance!

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers