Election 2008

The debate's back on! Which means it's time for campaign surrogates to get off their asses and start lowering some expectations.

George Bush has shown again and again that it doesn't matter what kind of stupid crap you say in a debate if everyone was expecting you to go way stupider. If people expect the worst from you, all you have to do is keep from playing with your own feces and they'll be praising you up and down for "pulling it off."

So the debate pre-game increasingly involves campaign surrogates and party reps going on TV and talking about what a pre-verbal imbecile their candidate is compared to the master debate skills of their opponent. Since McCain's threatened postponement threw some surrogates out of whack, here's a handy "Lowering Debate Expectations-O-Tron" to help surrogates call their candidate an idiot:

Are you frigging kidding me?!!

You actually think that my candidate,
Barack Obama,
John McCain, can win a debate against
John McCain?!
Barack Obama?! I love my candidate, but in all seriousness,
he's a philistine!
he can't even read!
the other night I caught him licking an electrical socket because he said he liked the taste! Don't get me wrong.
Barack Obama
John McCain is the right man to lead this country. But when it comes to speaking intelligently and convincingly,
I got two words for you: VILLAGE IDIOT!
I got three words for you: Pssh! Yeah right!
I got seven words for you: He's just not that good at it! Now you want to see a good debater,
Barack Obama
John McCain is your guy. That guy, while being the worst possible candidate for the presidency, has a way of talking that makes me want to
weep.
take on the whole world.
make love to my wife for the first time since Reagan died. I'm telling you, while I maintain that he's
completely unpresidential,
Capitol Hill's equivalent to the movie "Speed Racer,"
like 9/11 in a suit and tie, if he told me to
jump off a bridge,
make fun of Biden's mama right in front of him,
enlist, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Oh hang on, I'm getting a phone call.

Whoops, that was
Barack Obama
John McCain telling me to
jump off a bridge,
make fun of Biden's mama right in front of him,
enlist, so I'd better get on that. See! That's how persuasive that guy is. So don't expect too much from my candidate, the next president of the United States,
Barack Obama
John McCain, because between you and me, he's

recently suffered a deep, deep concussion.
more comfortable talking about the Knight Rider remake than foreign policy.
going to make Sarah Palin look like Winston Churchill.. Just saying, don't expect too much. Promise?

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers