Inappropriate Hottie Rundown: White House kids

Thomas Lincoln: Well, hel-lo little Lincoln! What we wouldn't do to spend an evening in a dark theater balcony with you. That precocious pose and confident gaze tell the world, "Hey, so what if my dad really was gay? I'm man enough for both of us!" So, Tommy Boy, what say we go somewhere and emancipate you from those pants?
3.5/4 Oval Office temper tantrums

Quentin Roosevelt: If it's true that you were daddy Teddy's favorite, then why did he dress you like a midget carnival barker? Proud poppa may have been a model of masculinity but those knee socks aren't doing you any favors. Neither are the precious nicknames bestowed on you by old T.R.: "Quentyquee" and "Quinikins." By all accounts you were a rambunctious troublemaker. What is it we're rebelling against, Quentyquee?
2/4 Oval Office temper tantrums

Lynda Bird Johnson: Flash those pearly whites and let us run our fingers through your helmet-like hair, Lynda, because if we'd had anything to do with it, you wouldn't be wearing that virginal wedding white for long. You're the proud initial-sake of dad LBJ - lose the L and let's talk.
3/4 Oval Office temper tantrums

Margaret Truman: Whoa, gal. Is that a smile or did you just swallow a coat hanger? It's no surprise you pursued a singing career, considering you've got quite a face for radio, if you know what we mean. History will remember the atomic bomb as the second-worst thing your father unleashed on an unsuspecting public.
1/4 Oval Office temper tantrums

Tricia Nixon: Oh, Trish. With your blond tresses and adorably turned-up nose, you're the original hot young Republican we all want to hate-bang. You graced the cover of Life magazine not once, but twice, and don't think we don't have a few copies laying around with the pages stuck together. We know you'd never approve of us. No wonder you married a guy named "Cox."
4/4 Oval Office temper tantrums