How happy should you be about this Cheney indictment?

Probably gonna beat this one. BUT IT CAN'T HURT TO TRY!!!

Unfortunately, not that happy.

There's a reason you've barely heard about it. It's because the whole thing sounds like a pile of crap. Cheney (and Alberto Gonzales) are named in an indictment alleging them responsible for abuse of prisoners in a private detention center. No, not Abu Graib. The prisons are in Texas. And the only reason Cheney's named is because he had a financial stake in the company that owns the prisons. Or something. The whole thing is really hard to figure out and as of press time, we stopped trying.

To make the whole thing even shadier, yesterday the prosecutor didn't even show up to court.

Okay, you got a Dick Cheney indictment through a grand jury and then you don't show up? It's Dick Cheney! We get that it's probably a trumped up indictment and the chances of a win are slim, but come on! Put him on the stand and try that "A Few Good Men" thing where you get him so angry that he starts confessing to shit. The first thing they should teach you in Law School is if you indict Dick Cheney, you can't puss out.

For future reference, if there are any other psycho lawyers who want to indict Cheney on bullcrap, we put together this little guide to make sure you don't blow it. It's after the jump:

Thank you

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"Cheney, Gonzales Arraignment Set For Friday" -HuffPost