7 reasons why hiring a Clinton is not such a bad idea

Can it be that it was all so simple then?

It's looking more and more likely that Hillary Clinton is going to be named Secretary of State. You can tell it's going to happen by the way Sean Hannity is sweating so much his eye liner is starting to run. Obama's decision to bring on so many Clinton era veterans is causing a whole lot of panic among the pundits. But we're gonna go out on a limb here and say it's really nothing to worry about. Why? Because the Clinton years were actually pretty okay.

We know there's no winning over the conservatives who think Clinton is "the C word." But to all those kids who voted for Barack this year and who were maybe too young to remember what life was like under Bill and Hill, here's why you shouldn't be bummed out by the folks Obama is pallin' around with...

1. The Clintons gave us things like "jobs" and "money." They were very generous like that, making sure we all had a nice, happy economy to enjoy. They even tried to give us this thing called "health care," but that didn't work out.

2. The Clintons did not invade and occupy countries. They just bombed them a little and then went on their way. Much more civilized. And cheap too!

3. You know that feeling you've been having lately when you want to go to a sporting goods store and buy a shotgun and an inflatable raft in case you need to evacuate America and take to the seas in a hurry. We never felt that when Clinton was running things.

4. When conservatives hear about Obama hiring a Clintonite and they complain "That's not change," they're wrong. It is change. If it's not Bush, it's change. They keep trying to steal the "change" word, but we own it. And it means, "Bush sucked, so let's have stuff that's not him next please." If during the last eight years we could've changed back to the Clinton era we would've done it in a heartbeat.

5. Al Gore was big then too. He was Vice President, and he hadn't even made that "Inconvenient Truth" movie yet. That's right, the Clintons were into Al Gore before he was cool. (seriously, dude was not even remotely cool back then)

6. We know Hillary was kind of a dick during the primary. But seriously, if you're young and that was your first real encounter with her, you have to trust us when we say she was just having a bad year. It was really no different than if you worked at a company for a long time climbing the ladder and putting in the hours, and then some new guy comes in and gets the promotion you think you deserve. If you thought you were getting shafted like that, you might make a "3 AM Phone Call" commercial too.

7. Are you freaking kidding? After eight years of Bush you're worried that Hillary being picked as Secretary of State is going to ruin something? Get your head out of your ass! The entire country is on fire! Hillary taking a cabinet post is probably not going to be the thing to send us into the crapper.

Thank you

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"Obama plans to name Clinton to State" -Politico