Politics

According to TV Newser, Alan Colmes, the trusty old sidekick/doormat for Sean Hannity, will not be replaced next month when Hannity launches his excitingly-titled new show "Hannity."

That will be good news to those who took a poll TV Newser ran asking who should replaced Colmes. "Hannity solo (with liberal guests)" narrowly won a plurality with 30 percent of the vote. The next closest choices were Kirsten Powers and Bob Beckel, the kind of "Democrats" beloved by Fox: "Democrats" who hate Democrats. Two other Fox Democrats, Susan Estrich and Harold Ford, Jr. were both beaten by the only real Democrats on the list, Al Franken.

Of course, it doesn't really matter, because, really, who could replace Alan Colmes? But just because they're not going to replace him doesn't mean there can't be some exciting changes to the show. Naturally, we'll be glued to set every n ight for "Hannity," but here's five suggestions we'd like to see to jazz up the show a bit...

• Live webcam at Colmes' home showing him decompose in real time.

• "Democrat Orrin Hatch" is brought on as an occasional "dissenting" voice to "give the other side."

• A regular feature in which Sean just reads military terms and talks about "the troops" to, uh, completion.

• Sean and his Halfwit Army takes the show on the road as they flee to Canada to escape the radical Muslim extremist Barack Obama.

• Hannity intensifies the painfully slow-and-yet-painfully-un-self-aware coming out he's been engaged in for the last 10 years by railing against Prop 8 as he has vigorous anal sex with some random male "Republican strategist."

Posted by: 236.com staff      I’m a fan of 236.com staff