Okay we know it's been a busy year, but the country doesn't shut down just because everyone's been drinking egg nog. We've still got about 50 or 60 hours to get some shit out of the inbox and into the outbox (that sounded sexual but we didn't mean it to). Here are seven little things that it'd be real nice to see taken care of before the end of the year. Anything that can be done to expedite the completion of these tasks will receive our utmost appreciation. Now get to work!

1. The Franken-Coleman election

Enough with the recounts! For a while there it was fun to imagine a 60-seat Dem majority, and Norm Coleman is very entertaining as he scratches and claws to hang onto his own Senate seat, but it's almost the end of December and, well, bored now! It took us two months of recounts to remember that no one gives a crap about what happens in Minnesota. Just pick somebody!

2. The Auto Bailout

So Bush gave them a loan to carry them until they get another loan from Congress? That's not a bailout, that's living on your credit card. Just give them their truck full of money so we can stop getting cornered in conversations about whether or not giving them a truck full of money is a good idea. We don't know and we're not going to try and find out!

3. The Recession

Yeah, get that fixed. You got till Wednesday.

4. Mike Huckabee's TV show

It premiered a few days ago, and that's a few days too long. For the love of television get this man off the air. A whole lot of people are betting good money that it won't make it until 2009, so if Fox chooses to keep him on all that wagered cash will be lost and they're just fanning the flames on this financial mess.

5. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

We started watching it last Friday. It hasn't ended yet. Come on, turn into a baby already! We got things to do!

6. This Rick Warren crap

Like the auto bailout, everyone is required to have an opinion on this guy. Should he be allowed to speak? Should he be kidnapped and tortured until he supports gay marriage? We're somewhere in between the two, but leaning toward the latter. We're also sick of talking about it. It hurts us in our heart to watch Obama lovers stammer to defend his decision to let this guy pray at the inauguration, since the defense ultimately comes down to little more than "in the end you'll see, he knows what he's doing." That kind of faith is usually reserved for, well, God. We'd like to either hear that Warren's dropping out (not happening) or that it's officially illegal to have a conversation about it (more likely).

7. 2008

End! This! Year! Before it's too late! There's still a couple more days for 2008 to leave behind nothing but scorched Earth. Based on all the suck this year has pulled off so far, it's not hard too imagine that the worst is yet to come. If there's any way to speed up the clock and book it to 2009, make that happen. For God's sake, "Chinese Democracy" was released this year! If that's not a sign of the apocalypse, we don't know what is.

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers