We'd like to propose a toast.

To Gov. Rod Blagojevich. At a time when the country is in tatters and Americans are watching every new bank or industry failure to find out which will be the straw to break the camel's back, you popped up out of nowhere to give us a scandal we can do nothing but laugh at. You're no Bernie Madoff, stealing billions and destroying charities. You're no Dick Fuld, bringing down a banking institution and launching a global economic crisis. You're not even a sucky General Motors CEO. You're Rod Blagojevich, one guy so delusional and self-obsessed that you want to do nothing but stand up and demand that someone give you your goddamn money. But most importantly, you're one guy who's too stupid to not talk on the phone. And when you finally get sent up the river, you'll have no effect on the economy or job creation or the credit crisis. You'll just be one guy headed to jail.

That's the kind of scandal Americans can enjoy, and we'd forgotten how much fun they could be. These days when news of a big scandal breaks it means another hundred billion dollars went missing or another major industry collapsed. Except for your scandal, Rod. The fact that the country is a shambles has made your scandal all that much more fun. You're like the guy who shows up five minutes after the apocalypse and demands he get the 4% raise he was promised before the flames engulfed the earth.

And boy do you know how to milk it. You're not taking your lumps with dignity, doing what you can to limit the damage done. You're going down swinging. Christ, just yesterday you appointed someone to that Senate seat and made sure that anyone who challenges the appointment would be called a racist! You essentially called your legislature a lynch mob! That was fantastic!

You're beautiful Rod. You're clueless, you're guileless, and most of all, you're guilty as shit. And that hair. Oh man, that gorgeous hair.

You really cheered us up when we needed it, Rod. Thanks buddy. And Happy f**kin' New Year!

Posted by: Bob Powers      I’m a fan of Bob Powers