The Atlantic speculates that the New York Times could go out of business this May. Along with every other "old media" enterprise, the Times is struggling with massive debt and decreased profits. The digital version of the paper is doing great, but it's paper version that makes money. How can the New York Times be saved? We have three suggestions:

A Constitutional Amendment that would require all Americans to subscribe to The Weekender. Write your congressperson today! You don't have to read the actual newspaper (that's what the internet's for). You just have to keep the Times on the kitchen table until next weekend's Weekender comes, at which point you will recycle last weekend's Weekender.

New gay sex ads section called Kneel Estate. So that upper middle class gays can find one another, including the recurring photographic essay series, "What you get for... $50.00."

Log off the internet, you godamn Marxist. Close your browser and cancel your ISP. The communist internet is destroying capitalism. News is free, ads are free, even decent porn is free. Look at the tabs in your browser... if you aren't paying for that content, who is? No one. You thieving, Ruski, Manson-loving hippie.

Posted by: Laurie Kilmartin      I’m a fan of Laurie Kilmartin