RSS23/6 Presents: How to read a news site while avoiding devastating economic news
OH GOD, ARE THEY TALKING TO US?
Today's unemployment report is truly horrific and the coverage by all the news sites sure as heck didn't help. In fact, the "above the fold" area on our mother/sister site HuffPo this morning caused our hearts to skip approximately 7.2 beats. If you're like us, don't worry. We have a solution: Stop reading the tops of news sites until the recovery starts, sometime around 2010. Impossible, you say? Not with our easy to understand pictorial!
How to read a news site while avoiding devastating economic news in a terrifying font:
Place your cursor on the bookmark. DO NOT CLICK!
Place your index finger on the "down" arrow on your keyboard.
Shut your shut your eyes.
Let go of the cursor to load the news site (KEEP EYES CLOSED!). Press your index finger on the keyboard, forcing the browser to scroll down. Count to ten. Raise your index finger and open your eyes. You should see something like this:
Now, isn't that better? And even when the unemployment stories are pushed "below the fold," they will be displayed in a normal size and thus 7.2% less likely to cause a stroke.
Filed under: 2009 unemployment, unemployment news, unemployment 7.2 percent, unemployment 7.2%, 7.2%, jobs report, unemployment rates, unemployment rise, recession unemployment, unemployment rates 2009, new year unemployment, 2009 jobs lost, recession job loss, economic crisis unemployment, Wall Street unemployment, bailout unemployment, financial crisis unemployment, US unemployment high, US unemployment, unemployment rate rise, 2009 unemployment rate, economy unemployment, recession layoffs, financial crisis layoffs, economic crisis
posted 1:07 pm on 01/09/2009
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