Was anything at that sham inauguration real? First we hear that the oath of office wasn't valid. Now we learn that the music played by Yo Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman and some other guys, was a recording. They were just finger-syncing!

Was anything about that inauguration for reals? Here's a rundown of inauguration fact versus inauguration fiction:

Barack Obama: REAL! Yes it's possible for a real live human to be that awesome.

Barack Obama's pecs: ROIDS! Come on, he's almost 50. You think he could have that shit on his chest without juicing?

Joe Biden: FAKE! After that whole "generated international crisis" thing it was concluded that his job could be done to the same effect by an out-of-work carnival barker.

Wheelchair Dick Cheney: FAKE! He's pretending to be wheelchair-bound because he knows the prisons with wheelchair access are way nicer to be remanded to once he's tried and convicted for war crimes, treason, embezzlement, and, what the hell, polygamy.

Aretha Franklin's hat: Real! Some things you just can't make up.

Pastor Rick Warren's Bulbous Belly: FAKE! He's actually quite trim and buff, but he keeps a pint-sized leather clad "slave" strapped to his chest in a baby bjorn. It's really quite scandalous.

George W Bush's Escape From Washington Via Helicopter: REAL! He got away! After him!

The bible Obama was pretend-sworn in on: REAL! That's why Roberts messed up delivery of the oath. Jesus knew Obama could not be sworn in on that book so he sent his spirit out from the book and into Justice Roberts and made him mess up. To get it right, Obama was sworn on a Koran drenched in the blood of Christian babies the following day.

Washington DC: FAKE! All miniatures!