John Marshall

From The Room: Day One, A.B. (After Bush)

January 22, 2009 - New eras don't usually start right away. The Pleistocene Era didn't get going for at least 40,000 years, and the Sixties didn't really start until 1964. But the Obama Era kicked into gear right away. I could barely keep track of Day One. Here's what...

From The Room: The Geese Fight Back

January 16, 2009 - The following e-mail showed up in my box. Its author is Ronald, a Canadian Black Goose, and the only indication as to its origin is the line "Sent from my iPhone." Dear Humans, Once again, history is written by the victors. I'm referring to the flight that had...

From The Room: This Recession Sucks

January 13, 2009 - First of all, after being in it for more than a year, I still don't know what to call it. Is it a recession, a depression, a correction, a downturn? It's the P. Diddy of financial disasters. Second, it has no pizzazz. In the Great Depression they lived...

From The Room: New Year's Rockin' Second

December 31, 2008 - Today the world's official timekeepers are adding an extra second to 2008 ("leap second"), to account for the slowing of the Earth's rotation and to give us something to talk about besides the Recession. Although it is not exactly clear where this second is coming from (possibly from...

From The Room: Extra Special Holiday Specials

December 23, 2008 - In 1966 in New York City, WPIX started showing The Yule Log, a film loop of a burning log that never actually burns, creating a tradition that has enthralled both Christmas fans and stoners alike...

From The Room: Frost/Blagojevich

December 10, 2008 - ...

From The Room: We Have Met the Enemy and It Is Not Us

December 8, 2008 - According to economic experts, the current decline and fall of American civilization is going to "get worse before it gets better." In other words, after our empire ends we may have to wait a while before it comes back. This may not happen overnight, as there are other empires in...

Congress to create a job: "car czar"

December 8, 2008 - Congress is considering creating the post of a "car czar" to oversee the bailout of the Big 3. There has never been such a position in the history of the United States, although for the record, we prefer the old-fashioned "tsar" spelling. So far no names have been circulated...

From The Room: Thanksgiving: What a Long Strange Tryptophan It's Been

November 26, 2008 - The Pilgrims came to this country so they could practice religious freedom, and also so they could wear big hats made out of black construction paper. They set aside one day for an awkward turkey dinner. Most important, they created Black Friday, the ominous-sounding day after that heralds the...

From The Room: Amazing Coincidences Between George W. Bush and Barack Obama

November 6, 2008 - Much has been made of the amazing coincidences between Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy. Now we have elected another president from Illinois and it's time to look at the... AMAZING COINCIDENCES BETWEEN GEORGE W. BUSH & BARACK OBAMA Barack Obama...Wouldn't appear on...

President Bush's legacy: President Obama

November 5, 2008 - American History majors rarely get the chance to experience American History in real time. Last night was like a gigantic episode of 24, but instead of Jack Bauer and a countdown clock, it had Wolf Blitzer and an electoral counter. Like Bauer, Obama solved big problems all in one day...

From The Room: FAQ: Election 2008

November 3, 2008 - The U.S. is not only the world's sole remaining superpower, but also the only democracy secure enough to hold its presidential elections in elementary school gyms with equipment administered by fat, mean little old ladies who can't see and don't understand t alphabetization when it comes...

From The Room: McCain's Half-Hour Infomercial

October 30, 2008 - Barack Obama's $3.2 million half-hour infomercial depicted a "cross-section" of America, where apparently nobody is single or lives in an apartment. Instead, everyone lives in the Midwest, owns a...

From The Room: The Most Needed Presidential Election Reforms

October 27, 2008 - As someone who watches a lot of CNN and reads a lot of Wikipedia, I am something of an expert on the electoral process. Here are some election reforms I'd like written into the Constitution as soon as possible: Line-Item Voting. I've gotten used to going to...

From The Room: Joe the Plumber's Forgotten Comrades

October 16, 2008 - Eerily reminiscent of Swing Vote, which was about two presidential candidates trying to win the vote of Kevin Costner, the final debate was about McCain and Obama trying to win the vote of new blue collar icon Joe the Plumber. Yet there were no similar appeals to JTP's less...